What mother and father want they might inform their youthful selves – together with to ask for assist

Parents have shared what they would tell their younger selves as they admit to trying to be the perfect parent

Savour the small moments, seek assistance when necessary, and let go of blunders; these are just a few nuggets of advice parents would give to their past selves if they could.

A recent survey of 1,000 mums and dads with kids aged one to 10 revealed that a whopping 72% felt the strain to be ‘the perfect parent’.

A significant 80% wished they had spent less time fretting about ‘doing everything right’ and more time relishing their child’s early years. A similar percentage wish they could tell their past selves to trust their gut when it comes to parenting and ignore advice from others.

For 44%, they were frequently or very often swamped by other people’s advice, leading to confusion during their parenting journey and most wished they had trusted their own instincts.

The research also highlighted the top challenges parents grappled with during the early months and years of their baby’s life, including sleep deprivation, deciphering their baby’s cues, and carving out time for self-care.

For 39%, finding time for self-care was a struggle, and this figure was significantly higher for women (47%) than men (30%). When parents did manage to squeeze in some me-time, 44% felt guilty about it.

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Emma Wardhaugh, spokesperson for Philips Avent Mother and Childcare which commissioned the study, said: “In the early days, it’s easy to get caught up in self-doubt and the pressure to have all the answers, but the reality is that no one has it all figured out from the start.

“Every child is unique, and every parent evolves into their role with time, the backing of their community, and patience,” says the study.

The research revealed that 63% of parents relied heavily on their partners and own parents for support during the early stages of parenthood. However, a significant 62% admitted they would seek more assistance if they were to embark on the parenting journey again.

For instance, half of the parents surveyed had babies who suffered from colic and reflux issues. Of these, 24% felt inadequately supported or lacked confidence in understanding the causes and treatments.

Emma further commented: “Parenting is a demanding role, and it’s perfectly fine to ask for help and be kind to yourself. It’s a learning curve, but no parent should feel burdened to shoulder everything alone.

“In retrospect, many understand the importance of self-care and relying on their community to help them navigate the initial days and years of their child’s life.”

TOP 20 PIECES OF ADVICE PARENTS WOULD GIVE THEIR YOUNGER SELVES:

1. You’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay
2. Don’t compare your child to others
3. Cherish ‘the little moments’
4. Laugh often with your kids
5. Teach them kindness by example
6. Cherish the hugs and kisses
7. Ask for help when you need it
8. Take lots of photos and videos
9. You don’t have to be perfect
10. Say “I love you” every day
11. It’s okay to cry sometimes
12. Celebrate the little milestones, yours and theirs
13. Spend less time worrying, more time loving
14. Make time for yourself (self-care isn’t selfish)
15. Trust your instincts
16. Slow down and enjoy the journey
17. Remember, this phase won’t last forever
18. Give yourself grace on hard days
19. Let them be little
20. Document your child’s firsts