WARNING DISTRESSING CONTENT, EXCLUSIVE: Often the ‘stalker’ doesn’t even realise the other person doesn’t feel the same way they do, let alone see how they are coming across
Two weeks ago British tennis sensation Emma Raducanu was left hiding behind an umpire’s chair after spotting a person in the crowd who had “exhibited fixated behaviour”.
‘Stalker’ is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but the impact it can have on victims often flies under the radar. At the Dubai Championships that impact was plain to see, with a bright spark of British sport plying her trade – a 22-year-old woman – forced off the court in tears.
“I saw him in the first game of the match and I was like, ‘I don’t know how I’m going to finish’,” Emma later told the press. “I literally couldn’t see the ball through tears. I could barely breathe.”
The term is often used liberally and in cases where it isn’t really accurate. Instead it is complex and distressing behaviour riddled with distorted logic and varying motivations, Seth Eisenberg, president of the PAIRS Foundation, a relationship education not-for-profit that focuses on both training and research, told the Daily Star.
Often, especially to the victim, it can come across as intimidating or creepy, but Seth explained that in some cases, the ‘stalker’ doesn’t even realise the other person doesn’t feel the same way they do, let alone see how they are coming across.
The details surrounding the Emma Raducanu’s case remain unclear, but in general terms, stalking is a complicated matter, and the reason behind it can vary drastically.
Seth explained some of the most common causes for stalking are:
- Obsession and Fixation: Some stalkers develop an unhealthy attachment to their target, believing they have a special connection
- Rejection and Insecurity: People who struggle with rejection may resort to stalking as an attempt to regain control or force a relationship
- Mental Illness: Conditions like delusional disorders, borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia can contribute to obsessive and intrusive behaviours
- Power and Control: Some stalkers seek to exert dominance over their target, using stalking as a way to intimidate and manipulate
- Erotomania: A condition where the stalker falsely believes that their victim is in love with them, despite evidence to the contrary
- Revenge and Resentment: In cases where stalking follows a breakup, it can be fuelled by anger and a desire to punish the other person
- Loneliness and Social Isolation: Some individuals who lack strong personal relationships may fixate on a person as a way to fill an emotional void
He added how some people can be predisposed to the condition, from certain personality traits to personal life experiences. Commonly it can stem from attachment issues, he said, as it can low self-esteem, personality disorders or a history of abuse and trauma.
Meanwhile, the stalker, he said can often have little clue about what is really going on.
Seth explained: “They may believe their actions are part of a ‘romantic pursuit’ or that the victim secretly enjoys the attention.
“Those driven by power, control, or revenge know they are instilling fear and distress in their victims. Those with conditions like erotomania truly believe the victim reciprocates their feelings, making it difficult for them to understand that their behaviour is unwelcome.”