A woman who was left widowed when her husband died suddenly from a heart attack has revealed how she gave her two sons a new life by moving them to Bali – and has no regrets abotu her decision.
Kate Marillat, 44, was left devastated after her husband Nigel, 47, tragically passed away in May 2020 despite having never experienced any symptoms other than back pain.
The emotional resilience coach and mentor soon decided she needed to move away from their family home in Peacehaven, East Sussex to focus on healing.
She set her sights on Bali, where she’d spent her honeymoon with Nigel 15 years earlier, and in September 2024, she made the move to Sanur with her two sons Kieran, 13, and Seb, 10.
Although she admits it’s hard to start a new life somewhere so different, Kate feels her children are having the best opportunities and her money goes so much further.
Now she and her sons live in a three-bedroom villa with a pool and enjoy daily activities like surfing and snorkelling, while her money goes ‘three times further’ – allowing her to privately educate her sons and eat out more often.
She can also get household chores such as laundry done for £5 a week, freeing up valuable time for Kate as a busy working mother.
‘I can finish my upcoming novel, grow my business and be more present for my kids and send them to private schools, which I couldn’t do in the UK,’ she said.
Kate Marillat, 44, (pictured) was left devastated after her husband Nigel, 47, tragically passed away in May 2020 from a sudden heart attack despite having no symptoms
After Nigel’s death, Kate initially felt she was living in an ‘altered state of consciousness’, but her background as an author and coaching helped her through the hard days, taking her from ‘surviving to thriving’.
‘It was the hardest day of my life when Nigel died,’ she said.
‘All of a sudden, you go from married to a widow to solo parent, you have these labels, and you think, “Who am I now? What do I want to create? What life do we want to lead?”‘
‘Sometimes you need to take a step out of the life you’re in to figure out what that’s going to be when you go back.’
And her new life is a huge departure from her life in the UK.
Kate described her life with Nigel, a Buddhist, who worked at a merchant bank in Brighton as a ‘standard life’.
Kate said: ‘He was a very “Steady Eddie’ and a real family man – he was my rock.’
Although Nigel had always generally been healthy, he had been experiencing backache for several months, but they initially did not think this was cause for concern.
The emotional resilience coach and mentor was initially in disbelief but soon decided she needed to move from Peacehaven, East Sussex to Bali to start healing as a family
Nigel, a Buddhist, who worked at a merchant bank in Brighton led a ‘standard life’ with his family but their world was turned upside down after his death following a spate of back pain
Kate finally made the decision in September and like many other Brits, moved to Sanur in Bali, 15 years after she had last visited with Nigel after their wedding
Kate continued: ‘He used to get a bad back and would practice something called breath work to help him with the pain.
‘Since he’d had back pain before, we thought it was just back pain.’
According to the NHS, a heart attack occurs when the supply of blood to the heart is suddenly blocked, and symptoms can include chest pain, feeling lightheaded or dizzy, sweating, shortness of breath or nausea.
Other than back pain, Nigel experienced none of these symptoms – but one night in May 2020, he suddenly collapsed.
‘It was very sudden, it was at night, and it was the worst thing that can happen,’ Kate said.
‘He went into the boys’ bedroom at one o’clock in the morning, which was unusual, and I think on some level his soul knew something.
‘The next thing I heard was, he’s collapsed and the boys shouted out.’
Kate called 999 and performed CPR while waiting for paramedics to arrive, but despite their best efforts, Nigel died hours later from the sudden heart attack.
Kate admitted the move has been hard on her children but added that they have a better quality of life and her money goes further, covering private education and meals in restaurants
Kate explained that Bali has been ‘wonderful’ but ‘lonely’ at times, and she still has to ‘navigate the emotional waves of solo parenting and financial freedom’
Describing how it felt in the days afterwards, Kate said: ‘I remember feeling that I had been hit over the head – it felt like a physical bruise on my brain.
‘You have brain fog and you wake up in disbelief but… I still felt very close to him.
‘He feels like an angel to me now.’
A year after Nigel’s death, Kate and her two sons children moved to Saltdean, near Brighton and she continued to freelance and focus on self-care.
But Kate anted more and decided that as well as expanding her business, her family needed to move somewhere further away to bond as a trio and heal from the shock of Nigel’s death.
Having previously ventured to Sanur in Bali on her honeymoon, which she describes as a ‘healing, beautiful place’, she decided to choose this location for this new chapter, and the family flew out in September.
Speaking about the impact on her children, she said: ‘I would say it’s definitely harder for a teenager than a 10-year-old.
‘But they’re surfing, they’re snorkelling, they’ve got friends, they’re out doing wake boarding and boxing – all of these amazing activities.’
Kate has no regrets and said she can now send her children to world schools, she can get her laundry picked up, ironed and brought back for about £5 per week and food is ‘so cheap’
But in future, once her children are grown up and settled, she wants to adopt the life of a digital nomad travelling and working across the world
Kate explained that Bali has been ‘wonderful’ but ‘lonely’ at times, and she still has to ‘navigate the emotional waves of solo parenting and financial freedom’.
She said she can now send her children to world schools, she can get her laundry picked up, ironed and brought back for about £5 per week and food is ‘so cheap’.
‘These things have allowed me to have more time, more space, more self-care,’ Kate explained.
Having had other amazing experiences, like swimming with dolphins on Christmas Day, Kate said they will remain in Bali for the time being.
But in future, once her children are grown up and settled, she wants to adopt the life of a digital nomad travelling and working across the world – and hopes to visit Australia or elsewhere in Asia next.
Kate, a published author in seven languages, said the move has brought her and her children closer together during this grieving process and she would encourage others to ‘step outside of their comfort zone’.
She said: ‘When you go through a big life reset and you try and figure out what the next steps are, it’s given me the space to figure myself out again for this next season.
‘It has brought us closer as a family, I’ve definitely got more energy here, I’m feeling more grateful, at peace, and it’s made me ready for this chapter and the next one.’