Kate Marillat’s husband Nigel, 47, died suddenly of a heart attack in May 2020, leaving her to solo parent their two sons Kieran, 13, and Seb, 10 – and she has since moved to Bali
A woman whose life was turned upside down by the sudden loss of her husband to a heart attack took her two sons to Bali to live out her dream as a “thriving” digital nomad.
Kate Marillat, 44, an emotional resilience coach and mentor, faced the devastating death of her spouse Nigel, who was just 47, in May 2020. The tragedy left her to raise their two boys, Kieran, 13, and Seb, 10, on her own.
Harbouring aspirations to be a digital nomad – a lifestyle that combines travel with remote work – Kate had once worked in Paris but found herself rooted in Peacehaven, East Sussex, due to family commitments.
In September, she took a bold step and relocated to Sanur in Bali, a place filled with fond memories from her honeymoon with Nigel back in 2010.
Now, Kate and her lads are living it up in a lush three-bedroom villa complete with a pool, embracing daily adventures like surfing and snorkelling. She’s also discovered that her finances stretch “three times further” in Bali, enabling her to afford private schooling for her sons and dine out more frequently.
Following Nigel’s passing, Kate experienced what she described as an “altered state of consciousness”, but her expertise as an author and coach guided her through the toughest times, propelling her from merely “surviving to thriving”.
Kate said: “It was the hardest day of my life when Nigel died. All of a sudden, you go from married to a widow to solo parent, you have these labels, and you think, ‘Who am I now? What do I want to create? What life do we want to lead?'”.
“Sometimes you need to take a step out of the life you’re in to figure out what that’s going to be when you go back.”
In November 2019, Kate and her husband Nigel had just welcomed a puppy into their home. Kate was working from home at the time, conducting online training sessions for practitioners, while Nigel, a devout Buddhist, was employed at a merchant bank in Brighton. Their life was described as “standard life”.
Kate reminisced: “He was a very ‘Steady Eddie’ and a real family man – he was my rock.”
Despite being generally healthy, Nigel had been suffering from backache for several months, which they initially dismissed as not serious. Kate added: “He used to get a bad back and would practice something called breath work to help him with the pain. Since he’d had back pain before, we thought it was just back pain.”
The NHS states that a heart attack happens when the blood supply to the heart is suddenly blocked, with symptoms including chest pain, feeling lightheaded or dizzy, sweating, shortness of breath or nausea.
Apart from back pain, Nigel didn’t exhibit any of these symptoms. However, one night in May 2020, he unexpectedly collapsed. “It was very sudden, it was at night, and it was the worst thing that can happen,” Kate recalled.
“He went into the boys’ bedroom at one o’clock in the morning, which was unusual, and I think on some level his soul knew something. The next thing I heard was, he’s collapsed and the boys shouted out.”
Kate made a desperate 999 call and performed CPR on Nigel while waiting for the ambulance, but tragically, he passed away hours later from a sudden heart attack.
In the aftermath, Kate shared her feelings: “I remember feeling that I had been hit over the head – it felt like a physical bruise on my brain. You have brain fog and you wake up in disbelief but… I still felt very close to him. He feels like an angel to me now.”
A year on from the heartbreaking loss, Kate moved with her kids to Saltdean. She leaned on Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping, a method she’s long advocated, which involves tapping certain body points to alleviate trauma and stress, focusing heavily on self-care.
Keen to transform their surroundings to aid healing, Kate eyed global expansion of her online business and the dream of working while travelling. Recalling her honeymoon in Sanur, Bali with Nigel as a “healing, beautiful place”, she chose it for their fresh start, and they jetted off in September.
On how her children are coping, Kate observed: “I would say it’s definitely harder for a teenager than a 10-year-old. But they’re surfing, they’re snorkelling, they’ve got friends, they’re out doing wake boarding and boxing – all of these amazing activities.”
Kate shared that her Bali adventure has been “wonderful” yet occasionally “lonely”, and she’s had to grapple with the ups and downs of single parenting and financial independence.
She revealed that she can now afford world schools for her kids, get her laundry done and delivered for just about £5 per week, and food is a steal.
“These things have allowed me to have more time, more space, more self-care,” Kate divulged. “I can finish my upcoming novel, grow my business and be more present for my kids and send them to private schools, which I couldn’t do in the UK.”
However, once her kids are grown and settled, she dreams of embracing the digital nomad lifestyle, working and travelling globally – with Australia or another Asian destination on her radar.
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