Your Daily Star drafted in cricket fan, Daily Star icon and Radio X DJ Toby Tarrant to have a pop at the Aussies’ old and injury-prone Ashes squad – and they’ve not taken it too well
The Aussies are already upset over the war of words with your Daily Star some two weeks ahead of the Ashes.
Their media has been left stumped by our ‘Mister Sledge’ Toby Tarrant’s teasing about their veteran side.
Our banter about their team of old codgers drew the edge of the West Australian paper in Perth, who removed their Instagram tag from a video of Toby’s jibes.
After the Aussie media ripped into England skipper Ben Stokes, DJ Toby fired back on social media: “Some tinpot newspaper called the West Australian labelled Ben Stokes ‘cocky captain complainer’ which is a bit ironic seeing as the Aussies are going to be led by cheating captain crybaby Steve Smith in the first Test match.
“But the simple fact is that these are good signs for England because when the Australians are scared, they resort to two tactics, abuse and cheating.
“And this year the abuse has started early because they are rightly terrified.
“And they are right to be terrified, because Ben Stokes is no mere mortal.”
Toby, 34, also labelled the Aussie team “pensioners, geriatrics, being wheeled out for one final Test series before they are put out their misery and retired before they get themselves seriously hurt.”
“So the Aussies are pooing themselves”, he quipped.
Our social video lead Jess Fitch admitted: “It seems they’re not impressed.”
Meanwhile, cricket number crunchers revealed if England added ex-players Sir Ian Botham, 69, and David Gower, 68, to their current squad, their average age would still be younger than the Aussies.
The Ashes hosts named a squad with just one player under the age of 30 in Cameron Green, 26.
Stats man Swamp wrote on X: “If ENG added Ian Botham & David Gower to their 2025/26 Ashes squad, the average age of the ENG squad would still be 135 days younger than the AUS squad.”
The first Test in Perth starts on November 21.