JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is irritated by friend with a tenuous relationship with the truth
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Threesome with identical twins
My friend claims to enjoy the best sex in the world.
She boasts about well-hung lovers, saucy assignations with strangers and work-based bonks. Apparently, her orgasms are mind blowing and every bloke she meets is bewitched and obsessed with her.
Great. The only problem is that I don’t believe her. I think she makes things up to look popular and attractive. How come I’ve never seen her with a fit man on her arm. At the moment she’s bragging about a threesome with identical twins. Should I confront her?
JANE SAYS: I suggest you step back and leave your friend to her stories. If boasting about secret lovers makes her feel good, then respect her position. Who knows? Maybe she does have a string of secret admirers that she chooses to keep out of the limelight. If she doesn’t then that’s her business. I very much doubt if she wants your approval or your pity.
If she is making up stories then she must be in a dark place if she’s so obsessed with bigging herself up. Vow to be kind to her. Don’t patronise her or accuse her but do give her your time and attention because she could be sad and lonely. Can you include her in more of your activities so that she doesn’t feel the need to showboat and brag?
Rotten gifts insult me
I’ve got a big birthday coming up and I’m dreading my partner’s gift. He’s a great fella but doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.
Last year he gave me a tooth whitening kit and a slimming book. In the past I’ve also received a set of screw drivers, a pack of biros and face waxing kit.
After I gave birth to our daughter in 2022, instead of giving me a diamond ring to celebrate, I got a rechargeable torch – for all the late night feeds and trips to the bathroom. He and I went through three gruelling rounds of IVF to have our daughter, and it didn’t cross his mind to buy something frivolous.
He’s not a mean man by any stretch of the imagination. One Christmas he paid a fortune for a top of the range exercise bike and horse riding lessons. We’d been watching the film War Horse, and I’d made the mistake of saying how majestic the beasts looked. The fact that I’m highly allergic to horses and famously terrified of them up close didn’t cross his mind.
Sadly, he has no inner voice or imagination. Over the years his gifts have become the stuff of legend. My friends clammer to hear what he’s got me next.
Sadly, he simply isn’t on my wavelength when it comes to romantic gestures. Any time I light a candle for a special meal he asks if there’s a power cut. Any suggestion of an ‘early night’ is met with “Are you ill?” I yearn for poems and diamonds but am I ever going to get them? How do I encourage him to be more of the Romeo Montague that I crave?
JANE SAYS: The first point that strikes me is the sheer waste of money. Over the years your guy has used his own initiative and purchased all manner of expensive items. But very few of them have been right for you and now you find yourself dreading what he’s going to come up with next. Presumably certain items can be recycled, regifted or even sold on – with his permission?
I suggest you calm down because you’re not going to change him any day soon. From the sound of things, he has a straightforward approach to life. Gifts are chosen entirely for their practical value, and he always acts with total honesty. If there’s no harm in him, then accept that he is an individual. Remember that he doesn’t deliberately aim to hurt or wind you up; on the contrary, in his mind his chosen gifts are all perfectly suitable and reasonable. What right-thinking woman wouldn’t want her own set of screw drivers? The problem is that if he enjoys buying for you, then it would be churlish to insist on cash or vouchers in future.
Don’t be too quick to dismiss someone who clearly adores you and, in his own quirky way, has your back.
Can he be nudged in a certain direction with a wish list? Is he open to suggestions if they’re put to him in a gentle and non-critical way? Ultimately you could do a lot worse. He might not be perfect but who is? We all have our own personal quirks and eccentricities.