I’m in the fireman’s seat of one of the fastest and most powerful express steam locos ever built in Europe, racing at 70mph along the German main line from Frankfurt to Nuremberg.
‘Hold steady,’ shouts Marco the driver of this mighty, hot, panting iron beast. With his grease-top hat and cigarette on lip, he looks every bit like Jean Gabin in Renoir’s classic movie La Bete Humaine.
I grip tightly amid the racket and the fumes, terrified of being shaken overboard.
Behind us, dining serenely in vintage art deco carriages, are our passengers from across the world, who have come to travel on the launch journey of Belle Trains – a new luxury British train company, which is transporting us, steam-powered, for more than 1,000 miles through Germany.
On the menu this evening is tuna tartare timbale, dressed with lemon and lime, followed by tender lamb loin and a dessert cup of amaretto and mascarpone cream mixed with soft Modena crumbs, followed by a Swiss cheese board.
This is, naturally, accompanied by a choice of fine wines, and some delicious champagne.
All is freshly prepared and cooked onboard in the kitchen car, rescued from Das Rheingold, Europe’s legendary, long-distance luxury express that first ran in 1928. It goes without saying that the tablecloths are starched white linen and the service is silver.
The itinerary is as refined as the menus.
Rail expert Michael Williams boards the launch journey of Belle Trains – a new luxury British train company
With the help and prowess of driver Marco, Michael’s train is crossing 1,000 miles across Germany, between Frankfurt and Nuremberg
All food served on board the train is freshly prepared and cooked onboard in the kitchen car, rescued from Das Rheingold, Europe’s legendary, long-distance luxury express that first ran in 1928
Superior class travel on the Eurostar from London takes us to rendezvous with our ‘Harz Mountains Belle’ carriages at Cologne – so called because our destination is the Harz branch line system in the beautiful mountains that are jewels of the old communist German Democratic Republic.
The 87 miles of the metre-gauge Harzer Schmalspurbahnen are unique in the world as one of the last publicly operated country branch line networks powered by steam trains and running every day of the year.
It is a quaint world of small country stations frozen in a kind of 1950s pre-Beeching idyll.
But on the way, we spend time celebrating the joys of some of the greatest German cities.
Here is Cologne, with its towering gothic cathedral, the tallest in the world.
Nuremberg’s fairytale skyline, cobbled streets and massive city walls conjure up a lost medieval world, Dresden, is a miracle, painstakingly rebuilt stone-by-stone from the rubble left by British bombers in WW2.
The great arched glass roof of Leipzig station is the largest and most spectacular in Europe (eat your heart out, St Pancras!), while musical heritage is everywhere and a visit to the interactive Bach Museum is a must.
Our last stop in the genteel spa town of Wiesbaden is the perfect spot to unwind.
On his journey Michael stops in Cologne, home to the tallest gothic cathedral in the world
So, you might ask, how does our train compare with the Venice Simplon-Orient-Express, the benchmark for luxury trains across the world?
Well, for a start, it is informal and unstuffy, with no posh dress-code required.
And rather than spending the night in a bunk in a claustrophobic compartment, we overnight in city-centre, five-star hotels.
The Ernst in Cologne, by the cathedral, with its wood panelling and old-school service is a gem from another more elegant era.
So is the baroque Taschenbergpalais in Dresden, where the manager proudly showed me the ‘new’ marble staircase, only recently reconstructed after being shattered in the war.
The only mild disappointment was the Nassauer Hof in Wiesbaden, which, though architecturally splendid, was marred by air-conditioning on the blink in my room.
Other more modest, yet characterful hotels, were available for those travelling in four- and three-star classes.
I stayed a night in the Hotel Altora in Wernigerode, HQ of the Harz Railway, where balconies overlook the engine sheds, and the heady whiff of coal and steam is a tonic for traditional railway buffs.
The Medieval German town of Wernigerode is another stop for Michael and his fellow passengers
To complete the experience a model train whirs around the ceiling of the restaurant, which features some of the finest home cooking I experienced in Germany.
Unlike some other luxury trains, the launch journey of the Harz Mountain Belle was not populated by Euro-jetsetters, but by an eclectic mix of folk from across the world, who ranged from Home Counties Brits who had saved up for the train trip of a lifetime, to American billionaires who had crossed the Atlantic especially to sample steam at speed on the main line – no longer possible in their own country.
Among the passengers in my coach are British banker Simon and his wife Ann who live in Basel and are veterans of luxury train travel, as well as Terry, a 90-year-old retired engineer from Wokingham, who is re-living joyous steam journeys of his youth.
Meanwhile, brothers Jeff and Jeremy have come over from Minnesota with their wives, especially for the journey.
I think they might be rather well-heeled when Jeff shows me pictures of the railway he has installed in his garden at home. How long is the garden, I ask? ‘Well, about two miles!’
Sitting in the bar car over a glass of Schutzengarten stout I chat to Daniel Wageli, the Swiss train manager, who assembled the carriages (including some from the famous Swiss Train Bleu), organised the chefs and procured the loco – 85-year-old Pacific No. 01 1104 – ensuring she was in tip-top condition for such a major journey.
He also negotiated the bureaucracy of German state railways to make it all happen. ‘I regard this train as a perfect piece of theatre,’ Daniel tells me with boyish enthusiasm.
Among this cast of onboard characters, we must include our steward – the dapper Edwin, who also works in British Airways first-class cabins.
You can tell because, despite occasional bucking of the train, over the points, not a drop of champagne is spilled on the tablecloth.
Michael’s fellow passengers include a group of Americans, crossing the Atlantic for a rare taste of European steam
Not to mention Karsten, the omnipresent guard, who, with peaked hat and red sash adorning his smart Deutsche Reichsbahn uniform, is straight out of central casting.
As No. 01 1104 steams magisterially into our final destination at Wiesbaden (bang on time, incidentally), passengers demonstrate that they have had a jolly good time by gathering round the piano in the bar car for a final sing-along.
The tones of ‘We did it our way!’ resound through the carriage. And do you know – well-worn theme it may be – they really mean it!