WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT: Sonia Exelby, 32, from Portsmouth, flew to Tallahassee to meet a man she had met online to engage in a horrific fetish experts warn is ‘never mutual’
Heartbreaking new details have surfaced on a British woman who allegedly travelled to the US with the intention of being murdered by a man she met on a fetish website. Experts have warned that the fetish – killing someone in the bedroom – is “never a mutual fantasy”.
On 10 October, Sonia Exelby, 32, from Portsmouth, arrived in Tallahassee, Florida, to meet a man named Dwain Hall. Her friends immediately feared for Sonia, who had struggled with mental health issues, believing she had put herself in “an extremely vulnerable situation”. When Sonia didn’t return home three days later, concerns were raised and soon after, her body was found in a woodland area of Marion Oaks, northwest of Orlando, Florida.
An autopsy report has now confirmed Sonia died from being stabbed four times with a knife, with wounds ranging from four to seven inches deep. It also noted the young woman had sustained a “dried, red-orange”, ‘V-shaped abrasion”. Her death was ruled as homicide, reports the Mirror.
Investigators revealed Sonia had left evidence on her computer “indicating she was suicidal and travelling to the United States to be sexually abused, tortured and possibly murdered”. Florida police subsequently arrested Hall on charges of first-degree murder and kidnapping after linking the 53-year-old to transactions allegedly made using Sonia’s credit cards.
Hall, who picked up Sonia from the airport before taking her to a Redditch Airbnb cabin, has confessed to having violent impulses and alleged Sonia had been suicidal and wished to be killed. According to the affidavit obtained by PEOPLE, Sonia penned in a suicide note she would be “mutilated and disabled for the rest of my life” if she “managed to get to him”.
Hall allegedly portrayed himself as a guide who would assist rather than harm the distressed woman, and claims that during their conversations, they had “discussed bondage, suicide, and her desire to have someone kill her.” Hall alleged he and Sonia had sexual relations on several occasions, describing these encounters to police as “vanilla”.
According to the Daily Mail, this was Sonia’s suggestion, not his, as he didn’t wish to sleep with her because he would “feel bad” about his wife, Ginger Stein, according to an arrest affidavit. The affidavit reveals Hall stated if he was compelled to assist Sonia in dying, he would transport her to Alligator Alley, where the wildlife “would have taken care of her.”
When questioned about whether he killed Sonia, Hall declined to respond, but said, “She’s happy now because she got what she wanted.” However, psychologist and criminologist Alex Iszatt claimed this is not a case of a “suicide pact”. Ms Iszatt explained: “Dwain Hall’s role was never that of a participant; he didn’t need to persuade Sonia; he just needed to validate her self-annihilating despair, and over two years, he mirrored her darkest beliefs, positioning himself as the sole solution to her pain.
“His behaviour displays the traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder and malignant narcissism; the minimisation of violence is central: describing an encounter where he allegedly admitted to strangling her as ‘vanilla’ sex is a profound distortion, reframing a premeditated act of control as mundane intimacy.
“His constantly shifting narratives, from hired mechanic to secret contractor to mere bystander, are not the lies of a panicked man but deliberate, grandiose obfuscation. They represent a pathological need to manipulate reality itself, casting himself in ever-more elaborate roles to evade accountability and feed his self-image as a significant, cunning operator.”
Commenting on Hall’s description of his interactions with Sonia, the expert added: “He also shows an absence of empathy; he had no remorse for his actions, just self-pity, worried about how it looks. He didn’t see Sonia’s anguish in the two years he allegedly spent grooming her; she was a resource for his gratification. He spoke about love and compassion, but misunderstood what they mean in his world.
“Allegedly killing Sonia was an act of service; he was a mercy killer, taking away her terror, her pain. His journey from digital sadist to alleged physical killer was an escalation of practice, not a departure from character, as seen in his 2014 conviction for the aggravated battery of a pregnant woman; it shows he allegedly has a pattern.
“The official autopsy ruling of homicide dismantles the idea of a ‘suicide pact’, and while Sonia may have searched for Hall with a desperate ideology, her final moments of fear and hesitation suggest a woman overwhelmed by a plan she could no longer stop. It’s likely she didn’t want the death that ultimately came, even if some part of her believed she deserved it.”
Tragically, Sonia may have had second thoughts about the twisted scheme but found herself trapped in her horrifying predicament. Video evidence seized by officers allegedly depicts Hall attempting to record Sonia, who appeared bruised, providing her consent while he questioned her about her presence and preferred method of death.
Sonia informed Hall she wished to be stabbed; nevertheless, observing Sonia’s behaviour in the footage, investigators remarked she seemed reluctant and clearly distressed. Investigators discovered messages sent by Sonia to a friend via the online messaging platform Discord, dated October 11, the day after her arrival in the US.
Sonia wrote: “I’m sorry he keeps taking my phone, he doesn’t trust me with it. He made it clear there was no way out unless I shoot him. I was questioning it last night”.
She added that the previous night had been “so bad”, and confided in her friend: “I can’t kill anyone… He’s in the shower but I’m locked in and there is no singal [sic] in the middle of nowhere. I thought he’d do it quick and not give my mind time to stew and realise this is the last thing I’ll ever day [sic] to anyone if I don’t take his offer of shooting him. He showed me how to use it and where to aim.”
Sonia’s final distressing messages read: “I’m so scared I’m so broken and in so much pain all I can do is lay here and doing what gee [sic] wants. Makes him respect me enough not to do the things I really hate. Everything but some are. I’m sorry I don’t even know what I’m saying and I’m trying to be quick and my times up.”
Reflecting on Sonia’s apparent change of heart as the end approached, Ms Iszatt said: “Did she change her mind? Her final messages – ‘I have made a massive mistake’ and ‘I am scared’ – weren’t sent to a friend or the emergency services, but cast into the digital wind. Suggesting that by that stage, she may already have been psychologically shutting down and writing those words may have been the final fragment of energy she possessed, a testament to a self that was being overwhelmed, not a belief that rescue was possible.
“Her inability to simply leave is not evidence of commitment, but a core characteristic of coercive control. By the time she was in that Airbnb, the dynamic was one of dominance and imminent threat; she was now alone with the man who had fantasised online as ‘alphasadist,’ who had bought a shovel and spoken casually of alligators, her freeze or flight response was to stay, and walking out was a physiological impossibility.”
Reflecting on what could have led Sonia to make that tragic final journey to see Hall, Ms Iszatt commented: “While there is no single clinical diagnosis, Sonia’s state aligns with recognised psychological phenomena such as ‘eroticised self-destruction’ or ‘thanatophilic desire,’ where the drive toward self-annihilation becomes catastrophically intertwined with arousal, creating a feedback loop that makes suicide feel both inevitable and perversely gratifying. For her, the sexual framework was not about pleasure, but a last, desperate strategy to impose order on chaos.”
Hall, who altered his account multiple times during police questioning, allegedly stated Sonia had pledged to give him $4,000 (£3,000) to help settle his IRS debt, and he became irate when she arrived in America without the money. He later withdrew £900 from Sonia’s UK bank account, and also coerced her into recording three disclaimer messages and writing a letter to her family, which he found “funny,” according to the affidavit.
Investigators have claimed these messages “showed that Hall was controlling her, that she was afraid, and had made a mistake.” Detectives discovered after Sonia’s death that Hall had posted a parcel to a mate in Ohio, where officials uncovered a seven-inch Tanto blade bearing Sonia’s blood. A spade recovered from Hall’s garage also contained traces of Sonia’s DNA.
The toxicology examination, which followed, revealed a probable presence of cannabinoids – substances present in cannabis – within Sonia’s system, whilst a specimen also showed a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of 0.064. According to the Cleveland Clinic, a BAC ranging from 0.05 per cent to 0.08 per cent can lead to feelings of disinhibition, alongside reduced awareness and compromised decision-making. These papers were previously provided to the Mirror during Discovery, a pre-trial procedure before court proceedings, where both sides collect evidence-based material.
Barrister Julia Williamson, representing Hall, previously told the Mirror he is due to appear in court in February, explaining, “I filed a written plea of not guilty. This will stand until we receive Discovery, the evidence the government has against Mr Hall.”
She continued: “At this time, my client will be maintaining his right to silence concerning all aspects of the allegations. Perhaps in the future, there will be a statement to the friends and family of Ms Exelby. I express my condolences to all who grieve from this tragic loss. I know it is painful for all involved.”