JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who worries that his girl and her best mate are intimate behind his back
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Sneaky sex
I worry my girlfriend is having sneaky sex with a female friend who is crashing with us. I’m not stupid; I know what is going on. They’re fooling around in our bed while I’m at work.
The other night I slipped under the duvet and found a bright pink G-string under my pillow. Before that there was a female-friendly sex toy in my bedroom slipper – it must have fallen in while they were thrashing about and frolicking…
I’m waiting for my girl to come clean and say something only she’s acting like nothing’s amiss. If fact, she’s so loved up and horny in general that she wants more sex from ME than ever.
What’s my next move when I feel they ganging up behind my back?
JANE SAYS: Be the bigger person and break the silence. Are you sure you’ve got your facts right? Could it be that the sex toy and g-string belonged to your girlfriend?
Explain to her that you fear something is going on between her and her friend and need everything out in the open. What do they mean to each other and where do you stand?
Surely her lover now needs to move out if having her around has become a problem. Issuing an ultimatum is always tricky, but what other options do you have?
Twice as nice
My partner insists on sex twice a day for the sake of his health. He says if he doesn’t climax in the morning and at night then he aches all over and feels uptight and ill.
He says being denied sexual relief affects his concentration because he feels lighter and freer after he’s ejaculated. This puts pressure on me because I often feel obliged to please him even when I’m not in the mood. We’ve both started worked from home three days a week and I find myself dodging his sexual overtures at lunchtimes by pretending I’m on an important call.
I shouldn’t have to live like this, should I?
JANE SAYS: Talk to your partner away from the bedroom and suggest he masturbates more often – there’s no shame in that. You should never feel obliged to have sex because you are your own person, and you decide what happens to your body.
Find a compromise that pleases him and releases you before you start to resent his touch. As for your home working situation, he needs to understand that your job is important. Constantly badgering you for sex, when you’re supposed to be working, is both rude and disrespectful.
Boundaries need to be established.
Gold digger
I’m having satisfying sex with a wonderful younger woman. She’s very attractive and I fancy her like crazy. It’s highly likely that she’s only with me for my money, but I don’t care. I enjoy our meals out and dirty weekends away. For once in my life, I feel cherished and appreciated.
She kisses and cuddles me and tells me I’m special – things my grumpy ex-wife never cared to do. How do I convince my critical adult children that I know what I’m doing?
JANE SAYS: Your adult children are worried about you and that’s understandable. They don’t want you to get hurt – or fleeced. I suggest you call a family meeting and simply explain that you acknowledge and accept their concerns but must be allowed to live your life on your own terms.
Of course, you’re not going to do anything rash, but you’re not prepared to pass up on company, attention, and physical love either. That said, you must always be on your guard. Paying for meals and hotels is one thing but red flags should start flapping if ever this woman, or anyone else, starts asking you for cold, hard cash.
Do not fall for sob stories.