JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who wishes her family would start taking her adult relationship seriously
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We sleep in a massive bed
I live in a throuple with two guys. We’re very open about our progressive sex life yet my family can’t accept our lifestyle. They mock us; they call us crude names and make rude comments. We’re nothing but a big joke as far as my parents and siblings are concerned.
How do I get them to respect our relationship, which is genuine? Our relationship is not all about sex, it’s also about love, companionship and support too. We’re all good people, we just happen to all sleep in the same massive bed.
We have rules and boundaries i.e no stranger sex without the consent of the two others.
Why can’t they see that we’re fine?
JANE SAYS: Surely time will tell. If you and your lovers stick together, make good choices and prove that your commitment is real, then hopefully, your family will accept your situation in the end. Don’t get het up and don’t push it.
Carry on living your best lives with dignity and resist the urge to fall out with anyone. Accept that your family are still negotiating their way around your set up.
Climb every mountain
My partner wants my permission to embark on a big adventure. He’s become obsessed with the guy who recently climbed the skyscraper in Taiwan without ropes or harnesses. He keeps rewatching the footage saying: ‘That could be me’. I’m scared.
He wants to take up rock climbing so that he can do something challenging and dangerous. He keeps bleating that life is short and that he needs to test himself.
His Dad died at the end of last year and he wants to achieve something ‘audacious’ in his father’s memory. I get that but I’m not prepared to give my blessing when we have cherished pets and a business to run. It’s too dangerous. I’ve suggested he does a sponsored walk or cycle ride like normal people, instead.
I keep being told I’m unimaginative and boring. Am I?
JANE SAYS: You’re entitled to speak out. You’re entitled to say that taking up a challenging hobby will involve an element of risk. But if your guy learns how to rock climb in a controlled, professional environment then there will be safeguards in place.
He’s clearly deeply upset after the death of his father – a life taken too soon. He’s thinking big but, to be honest, how likely is it that he’s going to end up doing something as extreme as scaling a skyscraper? Work together in finding a sport/solution you’re both happy and comfortable with.
Does he need grief counselling?
Radio silence
I’m distraught that the new woman in my life doesn’t make enough time for me. We’re both divorcees and connected on a specialist app.
When we first hooked up, we used to go to the pub and cinema and had sex all the time. But now I only receive a text every other day. Before Christmas I asked her to move in with me, but she’s still not given me an answer.
She admits that spontaneity isn’t her thing, but she always has an excuse as to why she can’t see me. Am I wasting my time?
JANE SAYS: Be proactive. Go round to see your friend this week with a positive plan. Explain that you’ve missed her and would like to hit the ground running.
How about a drink? A meal? Or a walk in the park? However, if she still fobs you off, then maybe you need to accept that she isn’t as serious about you as you are of her. Maybe she’s not yet ready to move on or has others in her life. Whatever happens, don’t allow this experience to crush you.
Stay positive and keep your chin up.