JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who has been approached by a horny neighbour with an offer he’s struggling to refuse
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Lessons in love
A sexy, older woman has offered to give me lessons in love. She’s a fit divorced neighbour who lives a couple of houses away. She held a huge party at her house on New Year’s Eve. I got drunk and ended up opening my heart to her in the early hours. Stupidly I let my guard slip and admitted that I’m still a virgin. Eventually, she cooked me breakfast, made me a strong coffee and sent me on my way.
Now she’s made contact to say that she’d be more than happy to take me to bed for ‘sexual instruction’. I’ll only have to give her a few quid for her time. I’m both tempted and terrified because she is experienced and attractive. Dare I go there?
JANE SAYS: Please wait until you find someone you truly love before giving yourself away. There really is no rush and there is no stigma attached to still being a virgin.
This opportunistic woman is attempting to take advantage of you in order to have fun and make a bit of sordid cash.
Tell her ‘no thanks’. If you paid her for sex, then what would that make her – or even you for that matter? I can guarantee that being intimate with her would backfire and be a big mistake.
You’d loath yourself and regret it afterwards. Keep away from her in future because she’s not your friend.
Soap dodger
I’ve been on half a dozen dates with a guy I met on-line. He’s good looking and successful but I don’t think he showers, cleans his teeth or even washes his hair very often. He wears nice clothes and takes me to good places, but I suspect he thinks that a squirt of aftershave and a stick of chewing gum mask any problems. They don’t.
There’s a spark between us but getting too close to him is a hazard. I couldn’t contemplate sleeping with anyone who is less than fresh; only I fear he’ll expect sex the next time we meet.
JANE SAYS: Cleaning our teeth and having a basic wash should be second nature to all of us. If he doesn’t respect you enough to throw himself in the shower every day, then I don’t care how good looking or fit he is; he’s not the one for you.
We all have busy lives, but a squirt of deodorant or aftershave is no substitute for a good rub down.
Can you ask if he has a problem with his boiler? Does he live in a busy flat share where getting into the bathroom is a chore? You’ve been on half a dozen dates together; I think you’re fully entitled to ask the sticky questions.
Is he someone who would benefit from some constructive criticism? Is he what you’re looking for?
Coward of the county
My man runs away from problems. In the time I’ve known him he’s walked out of five jobs because people have upset him. He and I are going through a bad patch and every time I annoy him, he flies straight back to his ex-wife.
I get frustrated that he will not talk to me or attempt to iron out our issues like an adult. I speak to his ex a lot; she’s a great woman. She can’t stand him simply turning up either but is reluctant to cause a scene. Last month we rowed about jealousy, and he shot straight over to her.
Now he’s back and I don’t know where I stand.
JANE SAYS: Clearly your man likes to take the cowards’ way out by running away at the first sniff of trouble. He must hear that you cannot take this anymore. It’s great that he has a good relationship with his ex-wife, but whatever happened to fairness and respect and making time for you too?
Perhaps if his ex-wife stopped accommodating him, then he’d have to stay at home and face the music? Speak to her today and insist on a fresh start.
Sadly, if it begins to feel that it’s you against the world, then maybe you need to move on for the sake of your own self-respect and sanity? Is he on your side?