With Gen Z bringing back ‘dinner party culture’ you might assume that hosting has become a more relaxed affair these days. However, it turns out there is still plenty you can get wrong when inviting people round to your house – with some common habits marking you out as a ‘bad host’, according to new research.
Asking guests to bring along a dish for a dinner party, or even a bottle, is considered bad form by many, along with more obvious faux pas like serving burnt or undercooked food or dishing up dinner very late.
A third of people insist hosts should not be on their phones at all during the evening (which seems fair enough, and should certainly also be applied to guests).
Almost a fifth believe children should be kept out of the way, while 16% think letting pets mill around is a hosting misstep.
And it doesn’t stop there. Failing to offer a drink as soon as guests arrive, not topping up glasses and clearing plates before everyone has finished are all behaviours that risk making guests feel more overlooked than welcomed. Small details, perhaps – but according to the data, they are exactly the kind of details people notice.
Overall, the survey of 2,000 Brits by ASK Italian suggests we’re nostalgic for a past when people knew how to host properly. More than a third (35%) believe there are more bad hosts around than in the past, compared to just 23% who disagree. Six in 10 say dinner party standards are in decline.
Little wonder, then, that three-quarters of people admit they experience ‘hosting anxiety’ – actively worrying about getting it wrong when people come over. More than half say they host less than they used to, which is perhaps not surprising given the level of judgement that some guests seem to be passing. Perhaps it’s all about inviting the right people instead?
On a more consoling note, it’s good to know that, when asked what really matters when being hosted, responders said that perfection is not top of the list. Over half of people say the best hosts create a warm, relaxed atmosphere, while 54% believe simply having plenty of food beats putting on a performance. Being offered a drink straight away (48%) and feeling genuinely looked after (39%) rank higher than aesthetic details or flawless table settings. Phew!
Signs you’re a bad host, according to research (% of people who agree)
1. Serving burnt or undercooked food – 43%
2. Spending too much time on their phone – 34%
3. Serving food very late – 34%
4. Not offering a drink on arrival – 29%
5. Not serving enough food or drink – 22%
6. Not topping up glasses, or offering enough drinks – 19%
7. Letting their kids mingle – 19%
8. Being visibly stressed or snappy – 18%
9. Abruptly asking everyone to leave – 18%
10. Asking people to bring a dish – 18%
11. Letting their pets run wild – 16%
12. Posting pics of guests on social media without permission – 16%
13. Playing loud music – 15%
14. Asking people to bring a bottle – 15%
15. Spending too much time in the kitchen – 13%
16. Clearing plates before everyone has finished eating – 11%
17. Not telling guests that there’s no parking – 7%
18. Not opening the bottle that you’ve brought over – 7%
19. Asking guests to take their shoes off – 7%
20. Not moving their car/s so guests can park near the house – 5%
Signs you’re a good host, according to research
1. Creating a relaxed, welcoming atmosphere – 56%
2. Making sure there’s more than enough food – 54%
3. Offering a drink straight away – 48%
4. Making guests feel genuinely looked after – 39%
5. Topping up people’s glasses when they get low – 38%
6. Remembering what guests like and don’t like – 34%
7. Paying attention to guests – 29%
8. Cooking something delicious – 28%
9. Not stressing about perfection – 25%
10. Good music and lighting – 24%
11. Letting people help if they want to – 23%
12. Keeping pets under control – 19%
13. Keeping children under control – 19%
14. Making sure everyone is talking and getting on – 19%
15. Their home smelling great – 18%
16. Having options available for people with dietary restrictions – 17%
17. Laying on games or entertainment – 16%
18. Letting people take turns choosing the music – 11%
19. Having a beautiful home – 11%
20. Having a beautiful table with matching tableware – 10%