If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Open goal
Last November my partner suggested an open relationship. I jumped at the chance. I couldn’t believe my luck.
I went straight out and slept with a dozen gorgeous women. She concentrated on one bloke from her work – and now she’s confessed that she’s fallen for him and doesn’t know what the future holds for us.
I never meant for this to happen. She’s spending loads of time round at his place, and I can’t stand the coldness she’s showing towards me. The other day I bumped into her lover in the street, and he virtually told me that I’d lost and he was her guy now. I feel betrayed because this isn’t the way things were supposed to turn out.
JANE SAYS: I can’t help thinking that your estranged partner only suggested an open relationship to free herself up for her colleague/lover. Could it be that she and he have been closer for longer than you think? What is the truth? Sit her down and tell her that you still love her and would like her to end the relationship with this other man and come back to you. Is that an option?
Is she willing to give you another chance? If the answer is a categorical ‘no’, then you can’t carry on living in the same space. You’ll both have to make plans to move on.
It’s very sad that things have come to this but, if she’s no longer serious about you, then you have no other option but to accept that you’re newly single.
She’s a quitter
My girlfriend never sticks at anything. She drifts in and out of different jobs. She goes through friends like water and tries every fashion/diet/social media fad under the sun. She’s currently talking about leaving her job and opening a café at the seaside. She’s going to ask her granddad to cough up and support her.
I think she should stick at something for once, but she won’t even consider it. How do I get her to grow up and start taking responsibility for herself?
JANE SAYS: Checking out and moving to the seaside involves a major upheaval. How would that impact on your job, your friends and your family – does she even care?
The reality is that your girlfriend can spend the rest of her days running from real life, but she’s never going to find happiness or contentment, because she’ll only end up taking her problems with her. Keep talking.
Suggest ways of building up her confidence. How about taking up a hobby together? Promise to support her in the mornings if she finds them tough and encourage her to see her GP if she struggles with day-to-day living. Make it clear that you’re keen to put down roots and have no appetite for constant change.
Failure to launch
I’ve met a new man who is lovely. He’s wealthy, gorgeous and kind. I could move into his house tomorrow and leave my kids (26 and 28) behind.
Only they think I should stay put and concentrate on cooking their meals and doing their laundry. Our home is owned by my aunt, so they’re not going to be flung out on the streets and made homeless. They’ll manage.
I’m torn between a mother’s duty and a woman’s needs.
JANE SAYS: You’ve found someone who loves you and wants you in his life. I suggest you grab this shot at happiness with both hands. Your ‘children’ are fully grown adults.
You’ve gone your bit. Now it’s their turn to stand on their own two feet. How dare they demand anything of you. Tell them that there’s room for everyone in your heart, but this is your time now. What are their options?
Should you treat them to a cookery book and washing machine manual as parting gifts?