Stephen Fry reveals actuality of residing with bipolar dysfunction as he displays on ‘agonising’ suicide try and ‘horrible’ psychological well being struggles on The Assembly

Stephen Fry opened up on the realities of living with bipolar disorder and reflected on his ‘agonising’ suicide attempt as he was asked about his mental health struggles while appearing on ITV‘s The Assembly.

The presenter was the first of a new line-up of celebrities taking part in the second series of the interview show, which sees autistic, neurodivergent, and/or learning-disabled interviewers question famous faces, with nothing off limits.

The first question saw Stephen, 68, asked about his mental health, as interviewer Cameron noted he wanted to start with a ‘very serious’ topic. 

‘My first question is a very serious one, just prepare yourself,’ Cameron said, before asking: ‘You tried to kill yourself a couple of times, are you happy to be alive now?’ 

Stephen, who has previously been open about a suicide attempt in 2012, responded: ‘I am, I am happy to be alive, but it was a pretty terrible experience. 

‘I was in agony in my mind and didn’t want to live. I can’t bring back that feeling, it’s kind of alien, it’s like looking at myself as another person. 

‘I compare it to, have you ever broken a leg? I had a really painful injury, you know you screamed in agony, but you can’t make that pain come back to you now, you can’t make your leg hurt again.

‘It’s a bit the same with the mind. Like a lot of people, I almost don’t dare say that I’m happy, which is stupid because if you are happy, you should enjoy it.’

Later, Stephen was asked about his diagnosis with bipolar disorder, as one interviewer stepped forward for some advice in dealing with one of their own family members with the condition. 

Bipolar is a chronic mental health condition which is characterised by extreme mood swings, from high manic episodes which cause high energy, euphoria and irritability, to low, depressive episodes. 

Interviewer Harry asked: ‘I read that you are bipolar, one of my family members has that, how can I help them, please?’ 

To which Stephen responded: ‘The first thing to realise is it’s an illness, it’s not something that can be wished away. It’s a real thing. 

‘It’s worth thinking of it being like the weather. Now, the weather is real, you can’t pretend it’s not raining when it’s raining, you’re getting wet, it’s really raining. 

‘But on the other hand it’s also true that you didn’t make it rain. The rain happens, it’s not your fault it’s raining, you shouldn’t beat yourself up. It’s not something in your control. 

‘It will eventually stop, it always has, and it always will stop and the sun will come out at some point, and that’s what it’s like with a mood disorder like bipolar. 

‘It’s difficult, but it’s worth remembering, it’s not their personality, it’s the weather inside them, and it will change.’  

Elsewhere in the episode, Stephen was left gasping as he was asked a very ‘direct’ personal question about his sex life with his husband.

Stephen was quizzed about his relationship with his husband Elliott Spencer, and what they get up to in the bedroom.

Stephen came out as gay in the late 1980s, and has been married to Elliott since 2015, with the pair holding their wedding ten days after announcing their engagement. 

The broadcaster has long been vocal about his sexuality, and in 2024 opened up about how being gay felt like there was ‘a horror inside him’ as a teenager. 

He was first asked by one interviewer about his advice on ‘finding a husband’, to which Stephen admitted it was ‘different now’ to when he was growing up.

Stephen offered up his heartfelt advice telling the interviewer he ‘deserved’ to find happiness and have a loving relationship with another man. 

But he was then left gasping as the interviewer crudely followed up, asking after Stephen and Elliott’s sexual preferences in the bedroom.  

Bursting out laughing, gasping and covering his face with his hand, Stephen responded: ‘Wow, that is as direct as it gets. I’m going to leave that a mystery, I think that’s best. 

‘Thank you for raising it, it’s a very important point. That was a great moment.’ 

Stephen previously opened up on the ‘eye-watering’ grilling about his sexual preferences ahead of his episode hitting screens.

The TV presenter joked that being quizzed by the audience on the programme, which is made up of autistic, neurodivergent, and/or learning-disabled interviewers, was ‘worse than the Celebrity Traitors roundtable’.

Stephen, who took part in the first series of the BBC spin-off of the Traitors last year, was the first of a new run of celebrities to face The Assembly. 

It wasn’t long before talk turned to his sexual preferences. 

He said of the question that shocked him the most on The Assembly: ‘I think the rather eye-watering curiosity as to my sexual preferences. 

‘Not sexuality, you understand – that was understood – but my preferences within that sexuality framework… well, I wasn’t expecting that!

‘[I was] as embarrassed, awkward and uncoordinated as I always feel when dancing.’

Asked what was more ‘intense’, Stephen joked that the grilling on the ITV show was worse than his time around the roundtable on Celebrity Traitors. 

He continued: ‘The Assembly just pips it. The Traitors roundtable sees the possibility of mistakenly naysaying, or of being punished, but within a game. The Assembly puts one under a microscope for real.’

He added of how the interview differed to those in his daily life: ‘The frankness, the openness, the genuine curiosity. These are not things one is used to in the normal run of journalistic inquisition.

‘It kept me on my toes as much as I expected. But it was also friendlier and more fun than I had feared…’

In 2024, Stephen opened up about how it felt growing up, and admitted that his friends often mocked him for his ‘celibacy’ while hiding his sexuality. 

In a tell-all interview with The Times, Stephen admitted being gay used to feel like there was ‘a horror inside him’ and he felt ‘rejected’.

He explained: ‘In the Eighties, I was known as Celibate Stephen. 

‘I was so excited by my work that I forgot to have sex. It was also fear. I always felt rejected in gay bars. I couldn’t dance; I didn’t look cool. All I wanted was to sit and talk. 

‘In some ways, though, I was lucky: I lost many friends to Aids. 

‘Being gay gave me years of misery but an education in literature. By the time I was 13 my sexuality was a secret horror swelling inside me and I was desperately trying to find out who I was, what future there was for me. 

‘I knew the disgrace and humiliation of gay people.’

He added: ‘Oscar Wilde had taught me that it would be a life of mockery, exile and secrecy. And then there were those writers, like EM Forster or Somerset Maugham, who held their heads up high and made me feel that it wasn’t all slime and grim mackintosh people in a terrible world of darkness.’

Elsewhere, Stephen revealed that he does not want to live past 100 because he would ‘hate to be that lonely’.

The broadcaster – who has not been seen with his husband Elliott, 37, for nearly six years – admitted that he would find it ‘deeply upsetting’ to see a world without his friends and family.

Speaking about longevity to Evgeny Lebedev on his podcast Brave New World, on the episode where David Walliams was also interviewed, Stephen admitted that he ‘likes the idea of death’, and it is the ‘idea of decay’ that shakes his boots.

He explained: ‘Personally, I’m not particularly interested in longevity for myself. I’m interested, as I think most people are, in the idea of an old age that is as pain-free as possible and where there isn’t too much cognitive loss…

‘But I am not someone who wants to live longer than the rest of my friends.’

He continued: ‘If everybody – my family and friends – lived into their 120s, then maybe I’d be quite happy to pass 100. But as it is, I would hate to be that lonely Flying Dutchman figure so beloved of history…

‘The survivor, all of whose dependents and acquaintances have since died. I would find that deeply upsetting.’

Last year, Stephen shared rare comments about his 10-year marriage to Elliott, as he opened up on his romantic history to Rylan Clark on his podcast, Rylan: How to Be in Love.

The couple are believed to have met in 2012 after being introduced by mutual friends at a house party, causing sparks to fly and they began dating shortly after.

Despite Elliott being nearly 30-years his junior, Stephen told Rylan about how their age-gap has aided their relationship, as he revealed the secret to a successful marriage.

The comedian began: ‘I can tell you how to have a successful relationship with Elliott, but that’s probably not very helpful.’

He then went on: ‘But I guess it’s all the normal human virtues – some of which are forgotten virtues – but one of the most important human virtues, I think, isn’t even really considered a virtue. 

‘But it is one that changes the world. And it’s not kindness, which obviously is important, but it’s a subset of kindness, perhaps. And it’s cheerfulness.’

The presenter explained: ‘When you’re in the presence of a cheerful person, it makes everything better. They’re like their own sunshine. So that’s one of the things. If one is down to help the other come up… 

‘And understand each other’s differences as emotional human beings. For example, I had to understand, and he had to understand, that I am extremely energetic and bouncy and chatty in the mornings at breakfast and he is not.

‘So I had to find ways of just calming myself and he had to come up a little bit and not be quite so kind of, “will you shut up Stephen!”‘

Stephen added that their age gap also meant that Elliott was always introducing him to new things, causing him to develop an unexpected love of wrestling and rap.

He said: ‘He teaches me things I just didn’t know. He introduced me to Kendrick Lamar, which was a great thing to do because Kendrick Lamar I’ve decided is a great poetical spirit, a really remarkable figure. 

‘But that plus, now you’re really going to laugh here because I thought, is he insane? He has a great affection for, and I guess you could call it ironic, but it’s real – for WWE…’

Rylan was quick to check if Stephen had developed his own appreciation for the entertainment, asking: ‘Are you now a fan of WWE?’

Stephen sheepishly admitted: ‘I kind of am yeah, and I just don’t know whether I can reveal this extraordinary truth, but I have bought a couple of tickets for WrestleMania in Las Vegas.’

Stephen and Elliott have kept a low profile during their relationship and haven’t been pictured together for six years. 

But in January, the QI star shared a heartfelt tribute to him on Instagram to mark their 10th wedding anniversary.

In a heartwarming insight into their happy marriage, he gushed ‘I’m a lucky man’ in the caption alongside the black and white photo from their wedding day. 

He wrote: ‘Ten happy years to the day since we were joined in marriage. I’m a lucky man.’

Stephen’s comments come nearly five years after he was pictured with his husband, Elliott.

He and Elliott – who is 30 years his junior – tied the knot back in January 2015, just 10 days after announcing their engagement.

Elliott, from Southampton, met Stephen in 2014 and was initially known as Mr E before they went public.

The pair are known to keep their romance under tight wraps as they were last pictured together in May 2019 for the star-studded Rocketman premiere in London.

The Assembly continues Friday (April 10) at 10pm on ITV1 and ITVX.

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