Donald Trump is desperately trying to take credit for progress towards an end to his war in Iran, like an arsonist moving his car to let a fire engine park near the building he just torched and demanding a medal for heroism
Donald Trump is desperately trying to take credit for some positive movement towards an end to his war in Iran.
Which is a bit like an arsonist moving his car to let a fire engine park near the building he just torched and demanding a medal for heroism. The situation changed rapidly early this afternoon, when Iran declared it would re-open the Strait of Hormuz to shipping for the duration of the ceasefire in Lebanon. It’s not clear whether the US and Iran will reach a deal acceptable to Trump before the ceasefire ends next week. But a pause in fighting between Israel and Hezbollah (or as Trump called them in a Truth Social post today, Hezboolah) is probably a sign of progress.
Meanwhile, in Trumpworld
- Trump says the blockade is still on
- This is not ‘mission accomplished’
- He says he told NATO where to get off
- Trump is already upset with people for not letting him take credit
- He accidentally slagged himself off
- He admitted the McDonalds stunt was a bit tacky
- He claimed he doesn’t know what a “corner store” is
And there was a weird singalong
Here’s what you need to know
1. Trump says Iran has opened the strait, but the US is still blockading it
In a flurry of Truth Social posts this afternoon, Donald Trump announced to his followers in all caps that Iran had declared the Strait of Hormuz open and ready for shipping to traverse it. Of course, he referred to it, presumably by mistake, as the “Strait of Iran” – but at least he’s stopped trying to make “Strait of Trump” happen. But not so fast, 20 minutes later he told everyone that despite Iran opening up the strait…the US would still be blockading it for the time being.
“THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ IS COMPLETELY OPEN AND READY FOR BUSINESS AND FULL PASSAGE, BUT THE NAVAL BLOCKADE WILL REMAIN IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT AS IT PERTAINS TO IRAN, ONLY, UNTIL SUCH TIME AS OUR TRANSACTION WITH IRAN IS 100% COMPLETE,” he wrote. “THIS PROCESS SHOULD GO VERY QUICKLY IN THAT MOST OF THE POINTS ARE ALREADY NEGOTIATED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J.TRUMP”
2. This is not mission accomplished
Iran has said the Strait will remain open for the duration of the ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah in Lebanon, and oil prices initially plummeted in response to the news. But Trump is still pushing for maximalist concessions from Iran on their nuclear programme, insisting the US would need to remove all nuclear material from Iran before the blockade would be lifted. “The U.S.A. will get all Nuclear “Dust,” created by our great B2 Bombers – No money will exchange hands in any way, shape, or form,” he wrote. “This deal is in no way subject to Lebanon, either, but the USA will, separately, work with Lebanon, and deal with the Hezboolah situation in an appropriate manner. Israel will not be bombing Lebanon any longer. They are PROHIBITED from doing so by the U.S.A. Enough is enough!!!”
3. He says he told NATO where to get off
Trump chose the moment to have another go at NATO, claiming they called him offering to help after Iran opened the Strait, and he told them to get knotted. “Now that the Hormuz Strait situation is over, I received a call from NATO asking if we would need some help,” Trump said. “I TOLD THEM TO STAY AWAY, UNLESS THEY JUST WANT TO LOAD UP THEIR SHIPS WITH OIL. They were useless when needed, a Paper Tiger!” Meanwhile, Britain and France announced they would be launching a “peaceful mission” to secure the Strait “as soon as conditions allow”. It’s unclear when, or what they would do when they got there.
4. Trump is already upset with people for not letting him take credit for fixing a crisis he created
Still furiously typing on his phone, or at least dictating to a lackey, Trump lashed out at The New York Times and CNN for being insufficiently grateful to him for this current turn of events. He wrote: “The Failing New York Times, FAKE NEWS CNN, and others, just don’t know what to do. They are desperately looking for a reason to criticize President Donald J. Trump on the Iran situation, but just can’t find it. Why don’t they just say, at the right time, JOB WELL DONE, MR. PRESIDENT, and start to gain back their credibility???”
5. Stop hitting yourself, Donald
Trump needs to update his stump speech. Speaking at a roundtable event at a hotel in Las Vegas (and not even one of the fun ones) last night, Trump laid out his regular claim about America being in rough shape under Biden. But whether that’s true or not, he hasn’t updated the timeframe for his anecdote, with slightly embarrassing consequences. “A year ago, our country was an embarrassment,” Trump said. “All over the world, they laughed at us.” Of course, Trump was inaugurated for the second time on 20 January 2025, which was one year, two months and 28 days ago. So if the United States was an “embarrassment” and being “laughed at” a year ago (which it was) it was squarely his doing.
6. He admits the McDonalds thing was “a little tacky”
You’ll recall the other day, Trump told perhaps the biggest lie of his career – claiming the picture of himself depicted as Jesus Christ was, in fact, him as a doctor. Well, that momentous falsehood was drawn out of the President during a photo op so naff even Trump thought it was embarrassing. “Earlier this week at the White House,” Trump slurred, “I met a wonderful woman named Sharon Simmons, a Grandmother driving Doordash (a Deliveroo-style gig economy delivery service) to help support her husband’s cancer treatments. He’s got serious cancer. He’s going to be OK I think.” Maybe he is a doctor after all…anyway, he continued. “Sharon delivered McDonalds to the Oval Office. It was a little bit of a…it was a little tacky,” he admitted. “You know, they come up with those crazy ideas like McDonalds…although that was the biggest ever on Google, they say, number one ever…the garbage truck.”
He is, of course, referring to the November 2024 stunt where, after Joe Biden referred to a comedian appearing at Trump’s Madison Square Gardens rally as “garbage”, then-candidate Trump put on a hi vis and “drove” a bin lorry around an airport tarmac. In the days that followed many of his supporters started turning up to rallies wearing hi vis vests and bin bags. “We do these things in politics, they’re a little embarrassing…they’re a little tiny embarrassing but you win by landslides. So we gotta keep doing them. We got a knock at the Oval Office door, perhaps the first in the history of the Oval Office, and it was a very beautiful woman standing there with two big bags of McDonalds hamburgers and I said “Is this really believable?”
7. Trump proves he’s totally in touch with regular Americans
Crowing about his tax cuts in Vegas, Trump read from a sheet of paper prepared for him by his team: “Millions of American small businesses, including corner stores.” Then a pause. “What is a corner store?” he asked. “I’ve never heard that term. I know what a corner store is but I’ve never heard it described – a corner store. Who the hell wrote that?”
8. Fans started a bizarre singalong as he kept them waiting for an hour
Before all of this, Trump kept the modest audience waiting for more than an hour. At one point, to keep themselves entertained, they were led in song – singing the christian hymn How Great Thou Art.