Ryan Moloney broke down in tears on Wednesday’s SAS: Australia v England premiere, admitting he once contemplated taking his own life.
The Neighbours star is one of seven Australian celebrities going head-to-head with their UK counterparts in a gruelling SAS selection course in Morocco.
Ryan began the episode with gusto, taking on something of a leadership role within the group.
However, this put Ryan firmly in the sights of chief instructor Billy Billingham who was concerned that Ryan might have been overcompensating to make a good impression.
‘I think 12 is gonna get roasted,’ he said.
‘You know like when you’re in the old dorms on selection, there’s always some knobber who thinks he knows it all and by day two it’s: “Where did he go?”‘
Ryan Moloney (pictured) broke down in tears on Wednesday’s SAS: Australia v England premiere
Ryan was then summoned by the instructors for the first interrogation of the season, which began with the instructors asking for details about his life and upbringing.
The actor admitted to having a difficult childhood before being cast as Jarrod ‘Toadfish’ Rebecchi in Neighbours – a role he played for nearly 30 years.
When asked how playing a role for so long had affected him, Ryan admitted that his time on the long-running soap had been ‘hectic’.
‘It’s a very hectic time when you go to work and you’re in this headspace for 12 hours and then you go home and try to do family life and then you learn your lines the next day so you don’t really get a break from it,’ he said.
‘But for a very, very long time I’ve been pushing myself to go: “There’s Neighbours but I’ve got to have something else.”‘
Ryan admitted to throwing himself into buying and renovating properties, which only served to exacerbate his stress.
‘So you sell and buy properties, and build farms, and build houses, and building places is one of the most stressful things you could ever f***ing do,’ he said.
‘[You’re] constantly moving family around and just the ultimate stress, after stress, after stress.’
Ryan could no longer contain his emotions, breaking down in tears as he admitted to contemplating taking his own life before being diagnosed with ADHD
He continued, admitting to feeling like he barely got respite from the stress and to feeling as though he never measured up.
‘I just haven’t really had a break. It’s always that pedal, pedal, pedal, and nothing is ever good enough,’ he said.
Ryan could no longer contain his emotions, breaking down in tears as he admitted to contemplating taking his own life before being diagnosed with ADHD.
‘I just kind of found myself standing in a paddock and going: “If this is it I don’t want to do it anymore”,’ he shared.
‘Then, it was: “Okay, alright, that’s not the answer, I need to answer what’s going on with my head.” And then I was diagnosed with ADHD.’
When asked by the instructors how his diagnosis had changed him, Ryan admitted that it was one of the best things that ever happened to him.
‘Once I got that diagnosis, that’s the best f***ing news I’ve ever heard, because now I understand why my brain does what it does, now I get why I see things very differently,’ he said.
Elsewhere in the episode, Ryan slammed his fellow castmates after the group was punished for not having filled their water bottles completely.
The actor admitted to having a difficult childhood before being cast as Jarrod ‘Toadfish’ Rebecchi in Neighbours – a role he played for nearly 30 years. Pictured in his Neighbours heyday
‘Once I got that diagnosis, that’s the best f***ing news I’ve ever heard, because now I understand why my brain does what it does, now I get why I see things very differently,’ he said
As punishment, the recruits were forced to tip the contents of their bottles over their heads, which did not sit well with Ryan.
‘Fill up your f***ing water bottles first,’ he shouted.
‘Use your cups to drink in here so you’ve always got a full f***ing bottle.’
UK social media star Gabby Allen asked Ryan: ‘What’s your name again?’ and this only triggered Ryan more.
‘My name is f***ing pissed off because now I’ve got two f***ing wet things of clothes because people haven’t f***ing filled up their water bottles.’
Aside from Ryan, the Australian contingent of recruits is made up of singer Natalie Bassingthwaighte, MAFS star Jessika Power, Olympians Emily Seebohm and Mack Horton, cricketer Brad Hodge, and actor Axle Whitehead.
The Brits are represented by Love Island stars Dani Dyer and Gabby Allen, rugby star Ben Cohen, cricketer Graeme Swann, Olympian Tobi Olubi, and social media stars Jack Joseph and Cole Anderson-James.
SAS: Australia v England continues Wednesday on Channel 7.
If you or anyone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or via lifeline.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.