Your daily reminder of how bad it’s got in America – as Trump gets weird with some kids, Rubio tries to look like the cool substitute teacher and Pete Hegseth talks about killer dolphins
It has been a deeply weird day in Donald Trump’s administration.
It started with Pete Hegseth neither confirming or denying whether the US military uses dolphins to blow up ships, and it ended with Marco Rubio trying to look like the cool substitute teacher by peppering a press conference with 90s hip hop references. And right in the middle there was Trump, surrounded by children, doing a bizarre dance to a gay anthem. Meanwhile there’s been little to no new information about work towards an end to the Iran war. And despite Trump’s repeated insistence that the rise in oil prices is a small price to pay for Iran not having a nuclear weapon, that sound you can hear is American families looking at the petrol pump and wailing “thanks very much Mr President, but I’ll take my chances. Can you open the strait please?”
Meanwhile in Trumpworld
- Trump was weird with some kids
- Marco tried to tame an unruly presser
- You’re not ready for Marco’s DJ name
- The US does not know if Iran has killer dolphins
Here’s what you need to know
1. Trump was weird with some kids
Trump was exceedingly weird with a bunch of kids in the Oval Office. They were there to mark the relaunch of the Presidential Fitness Test, and they all looked extremely bored throughout – even though Trump kept saying things that you should probably never say in front of a child. He described in great detail how Iranian snipers targeted protesters, pointing to his forehead to drive the message home. One of the kids told him he wanted to pursue powerlifting next year, prompting Trump to go on his extended rant about transgender weightlifters. He asked the same kid if he thought he could take him in a fight. And at one point Trump looked around while discussing the people who run missile defence operations on US aircraft carriers and made a weird vocalisation with his tongue. “They say ‘missile coming, missile coming’,” he said, before letting out a theatrical sigh and fake typing on the desk in front of him, adding: “it’s almost blablablablabla.”
2. He taught them to do his bizarre YMCA dance
Inevitably, Trump followed the kids outside to watch them demonstrate the sports at which they’ve shown aptitude. And it resulted in a bunch of schoolchildren crowded round an elderly man, teaching them how to do the weird dance he does to YMCA at the end of all his rallies.
3. Trump had another pop at the Pope
Trump has reignited his feud with Pope Leo XIV with “unacceptable” remarks about nuclear weapons. It comes as Secretary of State Marco Rubio prepared to make a diplomatic visit to the Vatican in a bid to mend relations with the Holy See. Trump again accused Leo in an interview Tuesday of being “OK for Iran to have a nuclear weapon.” Leo has said no such thing and Catholic Church teaching says the mere possession of nuclear weapons is “immoral.” And he claimed the Pope’s rhetoric was “endangering a lot of Catholics, and a lot of people”. Speaking to reporters Tuesday, Pope Leo hit back at the claims, saying the Catholic Church “for years has spoken out against all nuclear weapons, so there is no doubt there.” Leo doubled down on his insistence that his call for peace and dialogue in the U.S-Israeli war in Iran is Biblically inspired. “I’ve spoken from the first moment of being elected, and we’re near the anniversary: I said ‘Peace be with you,'” Leo said as he left his country house in Castel Gandolfo. “The mission of the church is to preach the Gospel, to preach peace. If someone wants to criticize me for announcing the Gospel, let him do it with the truth,” Leo said. “And so I hope simply to be listened to about the value of the Word of God.”
4. Italy defends the Pope
Italy defended the Pope and his call for peace and dialogue in the Iran war. Foreign Minister Antonio Tajani said in a social media post Thursday that Trump’s attacks “are neither acceptable nor helpful to the cause of peace.” In an interview with conservative commentator Hugh Hewitt, Trump claimed the pontiff is helping Iran and making the world less safe with his comments about the importance of not treating immigrants with disrespect. “The Pope would rather talk about the fact that it’s OK for Iran to have a nuclear weapon,” Trump said in the interview on Monday. “And I don’t think that’s very good. I think he’s endangering a lot of Catholics and a lot of people. I guess if it’s up to the Pope, he thinks it’s just fine for Iran to have a nuclear weapon.”
5. Marco Rubio defended Trump… which could be awkward
Secretary of State Marco Rubio was asked about Trump’s claim that the Pope is “endangering” a lot of Catholics at a White House press conference (more of which in a moment). Rubio simply denied that’s what the President was saying, despite him doing so on TV and everything.
6. Marco Rubio quoted Cypress Hill and Ice Cube
Rubio faced the White House Press Corps today, apparently adding Press Secretary to his ever expanding portfolio of jobs while Karoline Leavitt is on maternity leave. If you’ve ever seen the episode of the West Wing where CJ has emergency root canal surgery and smug, cocky Josh takes the briefing in her place – only to get a sudden lesson in why it’s important to employ media relations professionals…then you’ll know how well this went. At one point, he suggested the leaders of Iran are “insane in the brain”, quoting weed obsessed 90s rap group Cypress Hill. Then right at the end, he slipped in a warning to Iran that they “check themselves before they wreck themselves”, quoting NWA legend Ice Cube. Rubio has form for this. He has previously quoted Public Enemy’s “Welcome to the Terrordome” in a cabinet meeting, saying the Pentagon “lets the drummer get wicked over every portion of Iran that has military capabilities.” And speaking about the invasion of Venezuela earlier this year, he quoted Notorious BIG’s “Juicy”, telling reporters: “If you don’t know, now you know.”
7. You’re not ready for Marco Rubio’s DJ name
In the final question of the chaotic press conference, a reporter asked Rubio what his DJ name is. An enthusiastic amateur DJ, Rubio was recently filmed at the decks at a family wedding. “You’re not ready for my DJ name,” Rubio replied, leaving us all to speculate. Here are some suggestions:
- DJ Four Jobs
- DJ Ill Marco
- DJ Poland Spring
- DJ Velvet Glove
Leave your suggestions in the comments.
8. Hegseth and Caine unaware of Iran using kamikaze dolphins
“Secretary of War” Pete Hegseth was asked at a Pentagon briefing about reports that Iran could use “kamikaze dolphins” to attack ships in the strait of Hormuz. It had been reported in 2000 that Iran had purchased some dolphins that had been trained for military use. Dan Caine, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff said: “I haven’t heard the kamikaze dolphins thing,” before adding a reference to Austin Powers: “You mean like sharks with laser beams?” Hegseth chimed in: “I can’t confirm or deny whether we have kamikaze dolphins, but I can confirm they [Iran] don’t.”