‘Arsenal being bailed out by VAR was an injustice – they are going to be undeserving champions’

BRENT A GOB: This week, Harry’s going after Arsenal, the VAR debacle that saw West Ham’s goal on Sunday chalked off and Real Madrid for being a complete and utter circus

Arsenal winning the title because their opponents got punished for grappling in the box is the biggest footballing injustice since Marcus Rashford fluked a move to Barcelona.

It’s like Martin Keown getting a medal for punditry, or Jeremy Corbyn being labelled ‘The Election King’ – it makes no logical or ethical sense. Don’t get me wrong, we need Manchester City winning another Premier League title like we need more of Steve McManaman on commentary – but this Arsenal lot are harder to root for than Elon Musk launching a GoFundMe page.

Whether you thought the officials were right to chalk off Callum Wilson’s goal or not, Arsenal deserved that decision the same way Chelsea deserve to call themselves ‘champions of the world’.

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The only thing clear and obvious is that VAR has ruined football.

Thanks to this bureaucratification of the game, we’ve gone from AGUERRROOO to VARRROOO in a decade – a decline that’s more depressing than an afternoon with Paul Scholes.

What VAR you talking about?

I’m sick to the back teeth of the “it’s not VAR, it’s the clowns running it” brigade.

They’re deluded souls who clearly understand football as well as Tim Sherwood understands how to offer an opinion without sounding cocky and clueless.

The idea that “better officials” would magically eliminate errors and inconsistencies is about as logical as believing Wayne Rooney deserves one more shot at management.

Read the bleedin’ rulebook! Football’s laws are as confusing and open to interpretation as one of Eric Cantona’s press conferences.

One man’s clear foul is another man’s “get up, you tart,” the handball rule is looser than Tottenham’s backline, and as toenail offsides have proven, even technically correct decisions can leave you feeling emptier than the Etihad on a Tuesday night.

Refs aren’t the problem. They never were. It’s VAR – a cold, intrusive bit of kit that, like Jose Mourinho, might look and sound like a problem-solver, but ends up being just a joyless, atmosphere-poisoning liability.

Real twerps

As a club, Real Madrid are the biggest collection of preening prima donnas since Southampton had Rupert Lowe and Matt Le Tissier under one roof.

With the amount of egotistical energy at the Bernabeu these days it’s a wonder the structural integrity of that giant chrome toaster of a stadium hasn’t buckled under the weight of their collective narcissism.

They’ve got Jude Bellingham – a lad who’s performed such a thorough inspection of his own backside that he can probably see his own tonsils from the inside.

Then you’ve got Kylian Mbappe – a jumped-up, self-absorbed, PSG-suppressing twerp who is quite clearly as allergic to teamwork as Nish Kumar is to decent comedy.

And don’t even get me started on Vinicius Jr – an overrated, theatrical pillock who displays such weapons-grade entitlement that he might as well be married to Meghan Markle.

And yet, last week, that holy trinity of ego was actually outshone in the village idiot stakes. Fede Valverde and Aurelien Tchouameni decided to turn the training ground into a low-budget UFC match – leaving Valverde in a hospital gown and the whole club looking like a high-speed car crash.

Presiding over this colossal bin fire is Florentino Perez – a whingey, power-mad, despotic fossil with the morals, warmth and general appeal of Mr Burns. And he’s about to re-hire Jose Mourinho – which is sillier than Roy Keane in a sailor suit.

All told, Real Madrid are the James Corden of football clubs: loud, smug, attention-seeking and about as likeable as a mouth ulcer.