Trump’s week has mostly been divided into flying to and from China, being in China and apparently dozing off in the Oval Office. Here’s all the Trumpland nonsense from this week that you might have missed – but should definitely know about
Donald Trump started the week apparently nodding off in the Oval Office – and ended it leaving China more or less empty handed.
But beyond the blockbuster foreign jolly, moves are afoot in Washington DC that would amount to the most corrupt action taken by a US President since Nixon – and he’s not even trying to cover it up.
Meanwhile, FBI director Kash Patel has been caught enjoying a snorkelling trip around a military cemetery, Fox News got a parking ticket and people panicked over reports that RFK Jr had been doing heart surgeries in Ohio.
Here’s all the nonsense that’s come out of the Trump administration this week that you might have missed – but should definitely know about.
1. Trump took a planeload of tech CEOs including Elon Musk to China with him
Trump arrived in Beijing on Wednesday with a planeload of CEOs and tech leaders. They included Elon Musk, Apple’s Tim Cook, Nvidia’s Jensen Huang and Boeing’s Kelly Ortberg – who definitely had the best week out of all of them.
The US arrived with hopes of starting the process of establishing a Board of Trade with China to address differences between the countries. Such a board could help prevent the trade war ignited last year after Trump’s tariff hikes, an action China countered through its control of rare earth minerals. That led to a one-year truce last October.
But beyond a single named deal and a vague commitment to “a constructive China-U.S. relationship of strategic stability”, it didn’t seem like Trump got much of what he was asking for.
2. The summit fell a bit flat
Trump claimed the US had made “great, great deals” with China, but could only name one – a commitment to ordering 200 aeroplanes from Boeing. Tariffs weren’t discussed, Trump said on Air Force One after leaving the summit. While Trump said the pair discussed Taiwan “a lot”, he said there had been no change to American policy over the island. And there’s no sign of political prisoner Jimmy Lai being released, with Trump shrugging and saying “It’s a tougher one” He was very cagey about what was discussed on Taiwan – and didn’t give the impression that he’d been super paying attention to the conversation. But he did hint that the $11 billion arms deal to the island that he approved in December …might not be approved any more. Still, there’s a return visit from President Xi Jinping planned for September, so maybe something will turn up then.
Trump, clearly tired and perhaps frustrated after the trip, was quick to anger on Air Force One on the way home, lashing out at a BBC reporter and branding the New York Times “treasonous”.
3. But China’s wizard wheeze with Marco Rubio was fun
Secretary of State Marco Rubio, who travelled with Trump’s delegation, is subject to sanctions and banned from entering China because of remarks he made about the country while he was a Senator. But China found a diplomatic loophole to allow him to join the US President at the summit – by changing the spelling of his name. A different Chinese character was used for the first syllable of his name, which was apparently enough to overlook the sanctions.
4. And Fox News got a parking ticket
“Big brother is watching!” Fox News host Bret Baier complained on his programme on Wednesday, noting the thousands of cameras covering every inch of Beijing. “Our driver parked illegally for two minutes, and he got a message on his phone, and he got a ticket for about $40, because they saw it on the camera.”
5. Trump seemed pretty dozy in the Oval Office
On Monday, Donald Trump appeared close to losing consciousness several times during an Oval Office event about America’s “fertility crisis”.
It’s far from the first time Trump has appeared somnambular during meetings. And in January he gave a pretty bizarre excuse for …resting his eyes. “Last time we had a press conference it lasted for three hours,” he said. “And some people said ‘He closed his eyes!’ Look, it got pretty boring in all fairness.” He claimed he hadn’t fallen asleep, but that the cameras had captured him during the eyes-closed part of his ‘cycle’. “But I didn’t sleep,” he added. “I just closed them because I wanted to get the hell out of here.”
6. …perhaps because he keeps staying up all night posting on Truth Social
Several days this week Trump posted dozens of times on Truth Social, sometimes through to the early hours of the morning – mainly untethered AI slop attacking his opponents at home and abroad.
One post showed a presumably American drone unleashing hellfire on speedboats flying the Iranian flag. “BYE BYE, “fast boats”, the caption above it read. Another showed an American warship firing a red laser beam at an Iranian drone, with the caption – and I wish I was making this up – “Lasers: Bing, Bing, GONE!!!” On the domestic side, Trump posted an cartoony AI image of Illinois Governor JB Pritzker eating through a massive buffet of delicious-looking junk food. “JB is too busy to keep Chicago safe!”. It’s hard to say for sure, but this has all the hallmarks of someone putting an AI image generator on Trump’s phone, and letting him spend all day prompting.
There was a brief respite from Trump’s unhinged posting while he was in China. Presumably because Truth Social is banned in China.
7. Trump’s bonkers IRS lawsuit could create massive ‘slush fund’ for ‘wronged’ allies’ – paid for by taxpayers
Earlier this year Donald Trump decided to sue the IRS – that’s America’s equivalent of HMRC, the taxman.
Why? Because he was angry over the leaks of some of his tax returns during his first term as President. This all came after years of Trump refusing to publish his tax records – something American political candidates routinely do – and falsely claiming he couldn’t because he was being audited. The guy who leaked them to the press was sentenced to five years in prison last January, just before Trump returned to office – but that wasn’t enough. He sued the IRS for TEN BILLION DOLLARS – which is about ten times their operating budget. It’s a nonsensical amount of money. It’s also weird because as President, Donald Trump is in charge of the IRS. He was also in office when the original leaks happened. So he’s effectively suing himself. And if he wins, he’ll be able to siphon billions of dollars from American taxpayers and …give it to himself. The judge in the case appears to have noticed this bizarre turn of events, and has started pointedly asking: “Hang on…are sure you’re really on opposite sides of this issue?” It looks increasingly like the judge is going to throw this nonsense case out when it returns to court this week.
Which makes it extra weird that the IRS, represented by the Justice Department, is reportedly talking to the White House about settling the case out of court. And before you say “wait what? You mean a government department has just decided to give Donald Trump a Dr Evil amount of cash for no reason?” – just wait until you hear the proposed terms attached to the settlement. The New York Times reported the other day that there could be a clause attached that banned the IRS from investigating Trump’s taxes, or those of his family and businesses. Which is great when you’re talking about President Crypto and his family of grifters. The other idea, reported by ABC News last night is even more astonishing. They’ve suggested a £1.7 billion fund be set up to …pay out compensation to allies of Trump who were “wronged” under the Biden administration. And that includes the January 6th rioters he pardoned when her returned to office. The fund would be controlled by a commission appointed by Trump, which would have no obligation to disclose its procedures or decision making process. And while they’d be barred from paying cash to Trump directly, they would be fine to give cash to entities related to him, like his businesses or family members.
This looks awfully like a variation on a ‘slush fund’, used to pay for illicit activities. It’s like Watergate, except instead of using it to pay crooks to play dirty tricks against his political opponents, he would use it to pay people who were convicted of trying to overthrow the government in a violent coup. At least Nixon had the good sense to try and cover it up.
8. Kash Patel lost it and yelled at a Senator
Kash Patel appeared to have been taking some lessons from Pam Bondi, which is a weird choice considering how ruthlessly she was fired last month.
Appearing before the Senate Appropriations Committee, Patel was asked about allegations published in the Atlantic about his alleged drinking and spending – which he has vigorously denied, to the extent of suing the magazine for $250 million. But tempers flared during an exchange with Senator Chris Van Hollen of Maryland – which requires a bit of context.
Cast your minds back a year or so to the story of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the man from Maryland who the administration accidentally deported to El Salvador, where he was, for a time, held at the country’s biggest torture camp/megaprison, CECOT. After the Justice Department spent months doubling and tripling down on his deportation, claiming without evidence that he was a member of a gang and had been convicted or accused of crimes which he has not. As it stands, Abrego Garcia is free, and living in Maryland with his wife and child. But during the to-and fro over his accidental deportation, there was an odd setpiece that involved Van Hollen – who visited El Salvador, and was allowed to meet with Abrego Garcia, his constituent. After they sat at a table to talk, with all the cameras on them, they were served a round of Margaritas, which they neither ordered nor drank. It was a stunt arranged by the Salvadoran government in a bid to discredit Van Hollen and make it seem like an alleged “gang member” was getting cushy treatment from a liberal politician.
So back to Tuesday, when Patel got cornered in questioning over the drinking allegations, he lashed out at Van Hollen, saying: “The only person who was slinging margaritas in El Salvador on the taxpayer dollar with a convicted gangbanging rapist was you.” Not a single word in that sentence was true.
9. But that wasn’t the only wild story about Patel this week
On top of the whisky bottles and the lying to congress, the Patel pile-ons have somehow continued. There was a story about Patel juicing the FBI’s arrest figures – and coincidentally adding people to the famous most wanted list days or even hours before they were arrested, which allowed Patel to claim he was rinsing the list at a record rate. And today emails have been published which show Patel took time during a trip to Hawaii – which the FBI insisted was NOT a holiday – to enjoy what officials described as a “VIP snorkel” around the USS Arizona. So, you might think “he swam around a naval vessel? Bit weird, but big deal. Why are people upset about that?” Well, because the USS Arizona…was sunk in the attack on Pearl Harbour…and is now a tomb for more than 900 dead sailors and marines. It is officially a military cemetery, and is very much off limits. Dives and snorkelling are only very occasionally allowed to survey the condition of the wreck.