If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
All change
My new husband’s whole personality changed the minute we said: ‘I do’. He was all smiles as I walked up the church aisle towards him and all scowls as we marched back down again.
During our wedding breakfast he screwed up his prepared speech and gave a horrible impromptu diatribe slagging me off. Then he got very drunk with his mates and smashed the wedding cake with his fist. My whole family stormed out in disgust. Now we’re three months into married life and I realise I’ve made a terrible mistake.
Our sex life is horrible. He’s cold and hard and acts as if it’s my ‘duty’ to pleasure him – and do anything he says in bed. He was never like this before. He used to be kind and loving and I don’t understand why he’s changed.
He says he hates me wearing make-up or fashionable clothes and makes a fuss if I want to see my family or friends. Recently he forbade me from going on my best mate’s hen night even though his own sisters were attending. Then he accused me of having an affair with my boss, just because I was obliged to work half an hour longer.
I just don’t get it. I’ve known him and his family for years. I’ve never done anything to hurt him or make him doubt or distrust me. I only had two boyfriends before we got together, and I only slept with one of them twice.
Why is he treating me like the enemy? When I tell my friends what he’s really like behind closed doors, they just can’t believe that he’s the same person we all grew up with. Why has he changed?
JANE SAYS: Face it, your new husband doesn’t love or respect you. All he cares about is controlling you and treating you like his personal property. Because he’s so insecure and lacking in confidence himself, he can’t abide the idea of you having other friends or any kind of life away from his watchful gaze. But this way of living isn’t healthy. He’s stifling you. He’s making you doubt yourself and you’re frightened. Admit it: you’ve made a mistake. I urge you to get out of this marriage just as quickly as you can. Make plans to move on before things get any worse. I’ve no way of knowing whether this man is capable of physical violence. But the emotional abuse is bad enough and you can’t put up with it any longer. Speak to your family and friends and be honest about the intolerable situation you find yourself in.
There’s no shame in putting your hands up and announcing that you got it wrong. What you can’t do is stick around in the hope that thing will get better because they really won’t. I fear that the minute you said ‘I do’ was the minute he considered you his property. But this is 2026 and you don’t have to put up with his crap.
Past imperfect
My oldest friends won’t speak to me because they don’t approve of my new girlfriend. They don’t like the fact that she has three children (by three different blokes) and used to get into trouble with the police. But she’s a great girl now whom I adore.
The other day I spotted my best mate in town.
I asked him why he was being such a jerk. He said that he didn’t care about my new life and wasn’t my mate anymore. I know that my girl isn’t perfect, but who is?
JANE SAYS: I suspect your friends are worried about you. If your new girlfriend has a colourful past, then it’s not unreasonable of them to be concerned. No one likes to see a mate in too deep with a complicated new lover.
They’re voting with their feet and avoiding you. Rather than sitting you down and leveling with you, they’re turning their backs and walking away. Not very mature, but we all deal with difficult situations in different ways. You need to start accepting that this is your life and you must do whatever makes you happy.
You don’t need the approval of your mates, but I would ask you to tread carefully and not be too proud to admit it if your new lover isn’t completely right for you.
Wide birth
My birth mother has become an intolerable burden. I wish I’d never tracked her down in 2024.
She put me up for adoption at birth. She’s a demanding woman who is always on at me for money and favours. She’s had a good life with rich lovers yet now thinks I should be at her beck and call. The other day she asked me for a lift to Brighton plus £500. My adopted mother is a wonderful woman. Why didn’t I simply stick with her? I’m 30.
JANE SAYS: Treat your birth mother like you would anyone else. Be clear about what you are prepared to do. If giving money or providing a taxi service aren’t your thing, then be honest. Yes, she is your birth mother, and this must be a very difficult time for you all. But you can’t allow anyone to treat you as a soft touch. The reality is that she survived perfectly well before you came along and you don’t owe her anything. I suggest you take your adopted mother out for a treat, just to show her that she isn’t forgotten, because she must be feeling insecure too. Then set your own boundaries and don’t allow any else to take advantage.
Too good to be true
I’m jealous of a best mate who is having a hot affair with her rich, married boss. Not only is she having sizzling sex but he’s taking her to great hotels too. My life is boring in comparison. I try and sound interested when she boasts about the fizz and multiple orgasms, but I feel a failure.
JANE SAYS: Leave your mate to live her life while you get on with yours. If you’re bored, then work out where you’re going wrong and make some changes.
Your mate may seem as though she’s having a great time, but I can guarantee that this fling will end in tears. Will you be interested in drying her tears when it does?
Work out what you want and where you want to be – and make it happen.