Follow John Ward and he’ll make you laugh, his tips will make the bookies cry and there’s a bundle to be made on the play-off finals this weekend
I once had a job at the circus but quit because my boss was a clown. Joke’s on him though, good luck trying to find a decent replacement for me.
Those are some big shoes to fill. Man City boss Pep Guardiola will leave gigantic shoes to step into after it was reported he is leaving at the end of the season.
Though Enzo Maresca is such a doppelgänger for Pep the chances are they’ll also have the same sized shoes. In fact, I hear Guardiola was so shocked by the likeness between the two of them when he sat next to him he couldn’t believe it. He was beside himself.
Pep has had a great run though I can’t help wondering if he’s getting out before the Premier League rule on the 115 charges of misconduct the club are accused of.
I’d call it the Karen Brady manoeuvre… jumping before the proverbial hits the fan. City can count themselves lucky that they’ve waited so long for a ruling.
The same can’t be said for Southampton who have missed the play-off final over the worst attempt at cheating since that army major won Who Wants To Be a Millionaire thanks to coughs in the crowd. Though his actions cost him £1 million whereas the sinning Saints will miss a £250 million top flight windfall.
Apparently spying maybe rife and there are rumours a team were spying on Arsenal training sessions this season but they fell asleep after five minutes.
Had the Premier League been involved in the ‘spygate’ decision they would have taken 5 years to rule on it and still somehow docked points from Everton.
Middlesbrough get the chance now to get to the holy grail of one year in the top flight before being relegated – but Hull deserve to take the spoils. And I think they’ll take advantage of the madness and grab their spot.
Hull to beat Middlesbrough – (Paddy Power) – 10/3
DID you know if you go to bed in full armour. It’s the best way to get a full knight’s sleep. Sleep like a king with a gamble on KING OF EARTH to win the Silver Bowl at Haydock today – (Ladbrokes) – 10/1
I WAS the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my glass and, said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…” It was a French toast. Drink to a win with a bet on STOCKPORT to beat Bolton (10bet) – 8/5
WHY do horses have such low divorce rates? Because they’re in stable relationships. Make hay with a flutter on TOTTENHAM to beat Everton – (beltway) – 10/11
I TOLD my wife I was building a model of Mount Everest. She asked, “Is it to scale?” I said, “No, it’s just to look at.” Build a fortune with a punt on NOTTS COUNTY to beat Salford – (10bet) 33/10