Daily Star’s betting guru John Ward reckons it is Gunner be a good night for Arsenal fans and there is cash to be made too on the Britain’s Got Talent Final
Blimey, it’s been hot. I’ve been so warm in the record breaking heatwave that I squirted the contents of a McDonald’s apple pie over my head to cool down.
You can really tell the temperature has soared because on the bus I saw a pensioner with the top button of her coat undone. The heat was so much I was sweating like Lee Evans on a treadmill in a sauna.
I find I’m wetter before I get into the shower than when I get out. Must be great to be plain old non-sweater Andrew Windsor in this weather.
On the upside I’ve been getting a great tan so I entered a sunbathing competition. I got bronze. Though I had a bad day at work when my boss sent me home for being unprofessional.
Though he was the one who said we can bring shorts in if we want due to the heat. How was I to know he didn’t mean have loads of glasses of Jack Daniels. But be thankful it’s not snowing, imagine shovelling snow in this heat?
I asked my wife how she would feel standing two feet away from me and flailing her arms around in order to cool me down. She said she wouldn’t be a fan.
Fans of Arsenal are in dreamland and even more insufferable after winning the Premier League, which I tipped in this very column in August.
And I reckon they will have even more to smile about by beating PSG winning the Champions League and make making cassh easy with a bet on Eberechi Eze scoring on the night.
But for the love of god please don’t let Piers Morgan on the pitch to celebrate again.
ARSENAL TO BEAT PSG – (10bet) – 21/10
EZE TO SCORE ANYTIME – (10bet) – 7/2
Best of the rest
I just watched a documentary on how ships are built. It was riveting. Build a fortune with a gamble on GENK to beat Gent in the Belgian league – (Ladbrokes) – 5/4
I just bought a Humpty Dumpty toy from ALDI. It even came with Aldi king’s horses and Aldi king’s men. Have a crack on The Hawkstone Farmers Choir to win Britain’s Got Talent – (Ladbrokes) – 4/1
A police officer came to my house and asked me where | was between 4 and 5. He seemed irritated when I answered, “nursery”. Make winning child’s play with a bet on THE ANGEL KING in the 3.30pm at Chester – (bet365) – 10/1
I was pickpocketed while doing the limbo… I don’t understand how someone can stoop so low. Aim high with a punt on USA to beat Senegal in a friendly – (Coral) – 6/4