If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Porn cocktail
My girlfriend and her best mate love porn. Anytime they get together; the fizz comes out and the laptop goes on. Threesomes, girl-on-girl action, orgies – they lap it up. They scream their heads off laughing and copying the moves. I don’t think this is funny.
I don’t watch porn. I think it’s revolting. I’ve told her as much, but she just laughs in my face and tells me to lighten up. The other night her mate turned up here drunk and the two of them started ganging up on me. My girl had obviously been discussing our sex life, because this mate dragged up some very personal details. I hit the roof. Later my girl suggested we watch porn together. When I said ‘no’ she started calling me boring and uptight. I’m struggling to respect her.
JANE SAYS: If you don’t like porn being watched in your home or discussed in your bed, then of course you should speak out – and your girlfriend should be prepared to listen.
Ask her for an important chat. She needs to know that you just don’t find porn funny. Get a promise from her that she won’t overstep the mark by upsetting you again. However, if your girl is determined to watch certain material when she’s out with her friends, then that’s her decision. Is this a relationship-breaker in your eyes?
Can you still love her knowing that her tastes are more hard-core than yours? Where is the respect and consideration? Maybe you need to take an overview of the whole relationship.
She’s showing off
My best friend has started a relationship with another woman and I don’t like it.
She’s not a lesbian. She’s just showing off. When she left her husband for a new partner, I naturally assumed she’d fallen for another man. Now I’ve discovered that she’s sleeping with a female colleague.
What makes me doubly cross is that other mates have given this new relationship their blessing and ordered me to stop being such a bigot.
Since when did speaking my mind become a crime?
Aren’t I allowed to have an opinion when I can see that my friend is making the biggest mistake of her life?
JANE SAYS: I urge you to take a step back and stop taking such a hard line regarding your friend’s sexuality, because this is not about you. If everyone else can accept her new situation and are actively asking you to stop making waves, then do it. No one’s insisting you to move in with them or do anything that you’re uncomfortable with.
I suggest you get on with your life and leave your mate to get on with hers because happiness is precious and you really don’t know what might be around the corner…
Fear of missing out
My sister-in-law is jealous of the close relationship I enjoy with my mother. She gets cross if mum and I meet for a cuppa and she hasn’t been included.
My Mum is frightened of upsetting my brother, who is extremely touchy, so we feel under pressure. How dare this woman insert herself between us?
JANE SAYS: You are entitled to see own mother whenever you like.
I can tell that this is a tricky situation. It sounds like you and your mum are treading on eggshells. Of course, your sister-in-law can be included sometimes, but you’re certainly not obliged to run every cup of coffee or lunch past her. Make it clear that, sometimes, you just want some quiet time with your mum to discuss private matters.