If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Brain fizz
I’m sleeping with my boyfriend’s Dad.
He’s twenty-five years older than me and an old rogue. He’s gruff and rough. But a phenomenal lover…
He can do things with his fingers and tongue that make my toes tingle and my brain fizz.
We first got together eight months ago. He was driving home after ‘seeing a man about a dog’ and saw me crying at a bus stop.
He pulled over and offered to take me home. I explained that my boyfriend and I had rowed over money. I invited him in for a coffee and we ended up having sex on my sofa. We arranged to meet up the next day for a sneaky drink.
Later we had sex in the back seat of his car down a lane and have been sneaking around together ever since. I’m still with my boyfriend (his son) because we work for the same firm and breaking up from him is going to be awkward.
My naughty lover has been married to his current wife (not my boyfriend’s mum) for twelve years but says that they haven’t had sex for ages.
Some days I’m tempted to run away with him because I think he’d be a laugh to live with. But then I think about all the rows and upset that would cause within the family.
Whenever I ask my lover if he feels guilty about stitching up his own son, he simply says he’s never felt guilty in his life because he doesn’t have that sort of personality. But I feel wretched and torn. Help.
JANE SAYS: I get the impression that this old geezer is playing with you for the sake of his ego.
He’s telling himself that he’s ‘still got it’. A much younger woman is hanging out with him and accepting his love. Please don’t allow yourself to be taken in by this rogue. He’s neither genuine nor nice.
He sounds like a right charmer – and not in a good way… He thinks nothing of cheating on his own wife and stitching up his son. Lovely. Don’t let him fool you. I don’t care what he says; he’s already in a relationship and he’s playing with your head.
Do the right thing and tell him, ‘no more’.
Whether you go on to tell your boyfriend everything is between you and your conscience. But it would be a good idea if you could get in first; apologise for letting him down and ask if you still have a future. Ultimately, you must take responsibility for this situation. Your boyfriend’s father is out of order, but you could have said ‘no’ to him at any stage.
Payback time
I can’t stand to be in the same room as my evil, manipulative mother-in-law. I even shudder if someone says her horrible name.
We were forced to live with her for the first year of our marriage because the house we were due to move into had damp and mould.
She didn’t want to give us her spare room, and we didn’t want to be there. She pushed me around and made my life hell. Once she threw a cup over my head because I dared to contradict her.
Now she’s recently divorced and my husband says that she must come and live with us. I’ve said: “no way”, but this is coming between us. My husband is a good man, but a bit weak and I know that she gets at him behind my back.
JANE SAYS: Stay strong and tell your husband ‘no’. I’m sure that he does feel sorry for his newly divorced mother now, but she’s not your responsibility. You can’t have anyone in your home who goes against you. Your horrible mother-in-law showed her colours before; you can’t risk living in close proximity to her again. Be firm; tell your husband that this is non-negotiable and you’ll have to think seriously about staying with HIM if he keeps on about this. You cannot allow anyone to push you around.
Know your own worth and stick up for yourself.
Cupid stunt
My oldest friend is a massive show-off. My boyfriend is desperate to plan our wedding, but I know that this mate will upstage me, pull a stunt and ruin the whole occasion. She’s a woman who has to be centre stage. Dare I go ahead without inviting her? I fear a snub would kill our friendship.
JANE SAYS: What friendship? This woman isn’t a mate; she’s a self-centered pain in the backside. Your future husband must come first. If your annoying mate can’t be trusted to behave herself on your big day, then she can’t be invited. If telling her to ‘behave’ isn’t an option, then go ahead without her. Whatever happens you can’t allow her to take over, because this is about you two.
Make-up sex
My daughter and her boyfriend are deeply irritating. One minute they’re madly in love and planning for the future, the next they’re ripping each other’s heads off. I don’t know what’s going on. A few months ago, my daughter asked me to start putting some money aside for a December wedding.
So far, I’ve scraped together £4,000.
But I don’t even know if there is going to be a wedding because they’ve had yet another stinking row and she’s refusing to talk to him. Everything is so nice when the two of them are on good terms; he comes round here for meals and we watch films together. He even does little jobs for me.
But then something sets them off and they split up again. She’s nearly 32 and he’s 27.
Should I try and get them in a room together to finally sort this out?
JANE SAYS: Step back and take your daughter’s domestic dramas with a large pinch of salt. She’s a grown woman. Don’t even try to understand what makes her and her on/off boyfriend tick. And certainly, don’t give them any money…
If they choose to break up and make up on a regular basis, then that’s up to them. Get on with living your life to the full. See your friends, plan a few treats and keep active and busy. I suspect they secretly thrive on crisis and high drama and love the resulting make-up sex.