If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Cash in hand
My girlfriend has become obsessed with on-line sex.
She talks dirty to guys who pleasure themselves to the sound of her voice. She gets them to send her money. She strips off and exposes herself to the camera. She says it’s a laugh. She claims she’s not cheating because she never meets her conquests.
Even when I tell her that I don’t like it, she carries on regardless. The other night I invited her out for a romantic meal fizz, prawns, steak, the works. But she turned me down with a flat “No thanks”.
The reality is that she was keener to perform for strangers than be with me.
How does that work?
JANE SAYS: Any form of compulsive behaviour is worrying.
Your girl is so obsessed with on-line sex that she can’t think of anything else. She turned down a romantic evening with you to play sex games over the Internet.
She needs to hear that you aren’t interested in living your life this way. Is she willing to admit that she has a problem? Is she willing to visit her GP about her compulsive behaviour?
If she isn’t, then you need to start thinking about your mental health and your limits. If you don’t like her doing this – but she really doesn’t care – then what is your role in her life?
And can you continue to love and respect her when other guys/strangers and cash mean so much to her?
Cheeky wotsit
An old friend constantly borrows money.
She turns up to social events without any cash.
The other night five of us, including her, went to a club.
We were asked to pay a £15 entry fee, and she simply looked at me. I then also paid for all her drinks and a cab home.
She owes me at least £250 and has never attempted to pay me back. She owes other girls too. I can only assume she considers us a well-off bunch of mugs. The one time I mentioned reimbursement she accused me of being small minded. How dare she cash-shame me?
JANE SAYS: Someone needs to have a quiet word with this individual. Don’t all gang up on her but do gently discuss this situation. She had to understand that she’s creating a bad atmosphere. She’s souring the friendship by making everyone feel embarrassed.
Talk to your pals and work out a strategy. If the borrower has deep financial problems, then maybe you’ll all consider wiping out her debts and starting again.
But she must understand that she can’t ask for anymore and can only come out in future if she can afford to pay her way. That might sound tough, but everyone has to budget.