If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Married lover
Sex with my married lover is sublime. But he refuses to discuss our long-term plan. I fancy him so much and can’t imagine a future without him in it. I want the big house, diamond ring and babies.
He says he wants all that too – and I’ll have it. But pinning him down to a timeline is proving more difficult than nailing a jelly fish… He comes here on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. I cook a meal, we drink wine and then rip each other’s clothes off.
He’s a very highly sexed and sometimes we do it five times on the trot. He grabs his clothes and dashes off at 3am leaving me a quivering (but delighted) wreck.
He and his wife fell out of love years ago when she started caring for her sick mother and stopped making an effort for him. He promises me that they’ll divorce “soon”. But when is soon? Five months? Five years?
I want children now and I worry about my time running out, but I fret about putting him on the spot in case I scare him off.
My very first boyfriend didn’t like me saying “I love you” first and dumped me. I often wonder why this guy’s wife doesn’t question his nocturnal behaviour, but, apparently, they have separate bedrooms and she’s a heavy sleeper.
He insists she’s just as keen to divorce as he is, but there are a lot of “factors to consider”. What does that mean?
I look at my friends who are putting down roots and feel left out. My parents don’t know my guy is married, and I can’t risk introducing him to them until he’s divorced as they won’t approve. I feel as though I’m in limbo.
JANE SAYS: You need to prepare yourself for the fact that there is no “long-term plan”. This guy is living day-to-day and enjoying every moment.
I don’t think you can believe a word he says. He spends three evenings a week with you – what’s he doing at the weekend?
If this marriage is dead and he and his wife are headed for the divorce courts, then why doesn’t he ever stay over? Does she even know about you? I doubt it.
Don’t keep secrets from your parents because they love and care about you.
Come clean with them today about all you’re going through and get their views. My impression is that your whole life needs a shake-up. You’ve already wasted far too much time on a user.
Draw up a list of your dreams and everything you’d like to achieve.
Finish things with this guy and suggest he gets his life in order before he upsets anyone else. You deserve so much more.
If lessons need to be learned, then learn them but don’t beat yourself up because you’re simply a person looking for love and company – and you’re only human.