So we’re being taken back to the 1970s, are we? That’s what critics are saying about life under new Prime Minister Andy Burnham.
They’re saying it’ll be grim, that it was a terrible decade: recession, rampant inflation, endless strikes, etc.
But it can’t have been all bad, surely?
Figuring we may as well look on the bright side, Mike Ward has found us 20 reasons why the 1970s were actually fun — if a bit weird…
Everyone watched the same shows With only three channels, telly favourites were much the same in homes all over Britain. But it wasn’t just the obvious stuff, like The Generation Game and Morecambe & Wise.
Fifty years ago this weekend, for example, millions were enjoying Seaside Special from the BBC1 Big Top at Southsea, featuring special guests Mary Chipperfield and her Tigers.
Things went mad at the pictures Superman, Saturday Night Fever, Grease, Jaws, Roger Moore as the new James Bond, Star Wars, The Godfather, Alien, Rocky, The Exorcist, Monty Python’s Life Of Brian and — genuinely the biggest hit, this, at the UK box office in 1971 — On The Buses. Yes, really. Seventies cinema had class.
The music was ridiculously good Where do you start? Or, more to the point, finish? The list could go on and on. David Bowie, Elton John, Slade, Queen, ABBA, Pink Floyd, Genesis, Rod Stewart, ELO, The Jam, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, Fleetwood Mac (actually, I hate Fleetwood Mac, but this isn’t about me, is it?)
Sweet shops performed a vital public service Everyone in the 70s had to have terrible teeth. If your teeth weren’t yellow or rotting, ideally both, it made you a weirdo. Sugar-binge-wise, sweet shops were a huge help. They sold blackjacks, fruit salads, flying saucers, sherbet fountains etc. All for, I don’t know, half a new penny or something.
The hair was hilarious Charlie’s Angels’ Farrah Fawcett had a feathered Farrah Flip. David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust had a prototype mullet. The Jackson 5 had the full-volume Afro. And obviously Mick Jagger had a shag.
Fashion got huge…and then tiny First it was enormous flares, giant collars, ankle-breaking platform shoes, plus kipper ties with Windsor knots so fat there was only an inch of tie left. Then came punk – which meant skinny jeans, skinny ties, spiky hair and safety pins as jewellery. Babies even wore those on their nappies.
Footballers looked like blokes down the pub That’s because many of them were. George Best, Stan Bowles, Alan Hudson and Malcolm “Supermac” Macdonald all liked a drink or 12. Interestingly, those were all great players. Make of that what you will.
Cars had personalities For example, the Mini, the Ford Capri, the Ford Cortina, the Morris Marina and, on a cold winter’s morning when it refused to start, the Austin Absolute Bastard.
Toys had a USP not a USB Yes, 70s kids didn’t need to charge their Space Hoppers overnight. Nor their Hot Wheels, their Spirographs or their Subbuteo teams. Nor did they have to plug their Action Man into the mains for several hours, except when they wanted to see if his head would melt.
Schools were like Madness sang about in Baggy Trousers “Lots of girls and lots of boys / Lots of smells and lots of noise.” All that, plus surreal lunchtime puddings, found nowhere else on the planet, such as chocolate concrete, pink custard and actual genuine frog spawn.
TV adverts were actually funny Few TV stars were as huge as the stars of the adverts, like the PG Tips chimps, the Milky Bar Kid, the Cresta polar bear and the legendary Cadbury’s Smash Martians, wetting their circuits with laughter at the thought of us dozy humans and our primitive spud preparation process.
Holidays went dead fancy In the early 70s, some Brits started visiting a strange new land called Abroad. The people of Abroad spoke a funny language called Foreign, but to make themselves understood, the British tourists merely had to shout.
Kids TV was off its head The Clangers were whistling mouse-aliens, Ivor The Engine a singing steam train. And in Hattytown Tales, every character was basically a hat. The hero, for instance, was a sombrero with legs. And the policeman was a helmet. So to speak.
Taking pictures was a bit less snappy This required what was known as a “camera”. Once you’d taken your pictures, you’d remove its “film” and take this to Boots. A week later, you’d pop back, hand over the modern-day equivalent of £15 and receive 36 glossy printouts of your thumb.
Pan had her People If a band was too busy/lazy to appear on Top Of the Pops, an all-female dance troupe called Pan’s People would perform to its song instead, having been let loose on the BBC dressing-up box 10 minutes before the show went on air.
Eurovision’s most successful country was…er, us These days we average 21st. From 1970 to 1977, the UK was never out of Eurovision’s top four.
Unlikely stuff could make you a star Barry Bucknell put up shelves. Fred Dibnah climbed chimneys. Johnny Morris made animals speak. Pipe-puffing, pint-supping Yorkshire cricketer Fred Trueman hosted a show where folk arm-wrestled and played games like table skittles and shove halfpenny.
Dinner meant boiling the kettle Vesta curries. Pot Noodles. Smash istant mash. All the best 70s food came with the same recipe: “Empty into bowl, add boiling water, stir.”
Beer was crazily cheap A pint would cost around 30p. Even if we allow for inflation, that’s still only £2.60 in today’s money. Twenty fags cost about 45p.
Talking of which, everyone smoked In pubs, at work, on TV, at the football, on the bus — everyone had a permanent ciggy on the go. In 1970s Britain, smoking was pretty much compulsory. Where packets now carry graphic health warnings, back then the label said: “Smoke more fags. It makes you look cool. And/or hard.”