If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Choking hazard
My girlfriend never has a good word to say about me.
Any time we’re out with mates she ‘jokes’ that I’m a crap lover. She says my penis is tiny and my sexual technique is rubbish. She blasts that she’s worn out 20 sex toys in the three years we’ve been together. Hilarious.
The other week we went to my boss’s house for dinner. I choked on my steak, but my girl couldn’t have been less sympathetic. In the end it was my boss’s wife who slapped me on the back and saved my life. My girl was more invested in necking champagne.
She hasn’t worked in years, so I give her everything; clothes, food, holidays, cash.
She’s becoming increasingly ungrateful. I’ve asked her not to humiliate me, but she denies doing anything wrong.
JANE SAYS: My worry is that you’re unequal partners.
It’s often said that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ and that certainly seems to be the case here. Perhaps you’ve given this woman too much? You’ve been so generous that she’s lost all respect for you.
She only has to click her fingers to get anything she wants. Go back to the drawing board. Discuss the nature of this relationship and where it’s headed. She sounds bored out of brains but that’s no excuse for rudeness. How about her getting a job – either paid or voluntary – and restoring her self-respect? If you don’t face your problems, then I fear that you’ll end up tearing each other apart.
Low score
I’ve only had sex once – and that was a total disaster. My ‘lover’ was too kinky and freaked me out.
Then he called me a tease and a time waster. He orgasmed noisily, but I didn’t. Then he asked to ‘borrow’ £20, which I’ve never got back.
I’m too frightened to date again. There is a guy at my gym that I fancy, but what if he’s just as bad?
JANE SAYS: Sadly, you chose the wrong person to go to bed with, but this is not the end of the world. Your first lover is certainly not representative of the male species. Vow to put that hideous night behind you and chalk it up to experience. Vow to enjoy satisfying sex in spite of him. Don’t rush into anything. Find someone you genuinely love trust and respect.
Make a friend of this chap at the gym and get to know him before you take things any further. Then, and only when you’re completely ready, should you consider sex again in a safe and committed relationship. Make sure that sort out your contraception in advance too and only ever have safe sex i.e. with a condom.
Thanks for nothing
I’m my boyfriend’s slave.
We’ve just moved into together and I’m doing all the cooking, cleaning and washing. In bed, he orders me around like a sex worker. I’m sick of pleasing him when he does nothing for me. He even expects me to thank him for bringing me to orgasm.
JANE SAYS: Tell this cave man that the free ride ends right here.
In modern, mutually respectful relationships, daily chores are divided 50/50.
Divvy up the jobs and insist that he does his fair share. As for his behaviour in bed; warn him that unless he changes his ways and learns some manners, then you’ll be out of there faster than he can say “Where’s my clean shirt?” Start as you mean to go on.