If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Colleagues loathe me
My boss/lover is tricky. Any time he’s generous, I feel obliged to pay him back in kind. This usually means sex – anyway he wants it.
He’s married but isn’t going to leave his wife.
For my birthday I got a diamond bracelet and sexy undies. In return he booked us into a fancy hotel where I was expected to pleasure, flatter and indulge him until dawn. We had champagne, room service and got through a jumbo packet of condoms.
I don’t really fancy him, but I DO like his money.
The problem is that all my other colleagues hate me and I’m sick of feeling bad about myself.
JANE SAYS: Everything has its price and if the price you pay for a trinket is sex with a man who isn’t available and you don’t even fancy, then aren’t you in danger of selling out?
I suspect that you’re flattered but isn’t this all a little tacky? I’m hardly surprised that your other colleagues are disgusted; I bet they sit back and watch you and laugh their heads off.
You know that this current situation doesn’t feel right, but you continue to indulge your lover because you like his spending power. But what’s going to happen when his wife (inevitably) finds the receipts or credit card bills for all this stuff? Where are you going to be left when she goes nuclear?
Sort yourself out with a new job before it all goes belly up.
Sudden death
My wife isn’t interested in seeing old friends or family. She’s talking about giving up her job and wants us to downsize to the country.
She used to be so vibrant and such a highflyer, but it feels like she’s given up on life. Our kids are travelling around the world, and I don’t think she’s ever recovered from her dad’s sudden death in 2023.
I suspect she has lost her confidence and feels that there’s nothing left to look forward to. This breaks my heart.
JANE SAYS: Encourage your wife to keep talking about her thoughts and desires. Start planning this next stage together and factor in some treats and challenges too.
Above all, let her know that you’re on her side and with her every step of the way. Of course, she’s missing your children as they traverse the globe, but that’s what children do – they grow up and ship out.
She should be congratulated for bringing up confident, ambitious young people. If she is anxious or stressed, or is suffering from any physical ailments, then, of course, you must insist on her visiting her GP.
If she’s grieving for her dearly departed father, then she must mention that to her doctor too.
This is a period of transition but, with imagination and planning, there will be light and life down the road. You and she have to believe that there will be different, better days ahead.