If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Nothing on underneath
My sex-mad boss can’t understand why I don’t want to get naked with her.
I’ve explained that I’m devoted to my long-term girlfriend. But all she says is: “She doesn’t have to know”. This tricky, crafty woman keeps dangling promotions; bonuses and pay rises in front of me to win me over. Recently during a teambuilding weekend away, she spent over an hour trying to get into my hotel room.
I was literally standing behind the door begging her to leave me alone. At first, she was sweet and coy; she simpered that she was completely naked under her silky dressing gown and simply wanted ‘a chat’. I hissed: “No. Please go away”. Then she flipped out. She started kicking the door and calling me a tease.
Eventually a member of staff appeared and forced her to leave. I was genuinely scared and felt intimidated. I later heard that she’d found her way into another colleague’s room and proceeded to have sex with him all night, but constantly spoke about ME.
Apparently, she was saying mad stuff about loving me. My colleague even recorded her for a while on his phone, and I’ve heard her gushing about how much she adores me and what she’d like to do to be in bed.
My girlfriend would go spare if she had any idea this was going on. My colleague is leaving the firm and thinks I should play this recording to my boss’s husband. But I don’t know if I’ve got the nerve or want to get involved in anything so complicated and unhinged. What do you think I should do?
JANE SAYS: Your boss must understand that you’re simply not interested in having an affair with her. She can’t win every battle and she’s not going to win this one. She must hear that you’re a man with your own mind and not her plaything.
Firstly, write down everything that has happened so far; note key dates, places, events, conversations etc. Then go to your union representative or HR department and discuss what’s been going on.
Make it clear that you find this game tiresome and insulting. You’re in a relationship with someone you love very much and aren’t interested in having extra sex with anyone else in the world.
Insist that steps are taken to stop this woman from pestering you and to leave you alone.
Tell them that you respect the woman as a boss but aren’t interested in taking your work-based relationship any further than that.
Ultimately, do not allow yourself to be intimidated, because you’ve never encouraged any of this.
I don’t think you approach the husband with the recording but do keep it for future reference.
Sadly, if you don’t feel that your HR department on union aren’t taking you seriously, then you may have to consult an employment lawyer. Do keep your partner in the loop and tell her everything too.
Tight as two coats of paint
My sister-in-law is one, mean woman. She’s loaded but every time we go out, she splits any bill exactly in half.
Even though I drive her into town each week she has never once treated me to a coffee or offered a penny for petrol. I can’t help but feel bitter and jealous. Especially when she waffles on about her savings and investments.
JANE SAYS: For your annoying sister-in-law not even to offer you money towards your petrol is very shabby indeed.
Don’t feel tempted to fall out with her completely, because there is a family connection, but do find yourself very busy in future.
Ultimately, it’s not up to her to pay for you. You have no claim on her money, and she isn’t obliged to treat you, but some appreciation of your effort and kindness would be nice.