‘Nigel Farage beats Count Binface’.
It’s perhaps not the headline Reform HQ’s political masterminds envisaged when they advised their boss to quit as an MP and inflict an unnecessary by-election on the voters of Clacton.
The aim was to frame it as a “people versus the establishment” contest, which was always a risk given Farage – a former City commodities trader and GB News pundit – was an MEP in the European Parliament for two decades.
But they were left with egg on their face when the major political parties boycotted the contest, accusing Farage of dodging scrutiny over a £5million gift he faces a Commons probe over.
Even in the early hours of Friday morning Farage was sticking to this script – despite its early collision with reality. “The voters in Clacton have stuck two fingers up to the entire political establishment,” he declared.
Seriously? Count Binface – his main contender and self-declared intergalactic space warrior from planet Sigma IX – a representative of the entire political establishment? No-one believes voters are buying that fiction.
While the political circus of 33 candidates descended on Clacton leisure centre, Farage, who triggered the contest, snubbed the official count and chance to praise the volunteers who worked through the night counting ballot papers.
He claimed to have been told of a “credible threat” against him by Essex Police – an account disputed by the force. Labour’s Anna Turley had a different interpretation: “Just didn’t want to be pictured next to a bin.”
The by-election was also a reckless waste of taxpayers’ cash – and from a party that claims to have been inspired by tech bro Elon Musk’s US cost-cutting drive ‘DOGE’ at a local level in England.
Officials have estimated a price tag of around a quarter of a million pounds and a proportion will have to be paid for by the council, which is also responsible for the Jaywick area – the most deprived neighbourhood in England.
Ignore the hot air about Reform UK offering to front up the cost of the by-election from their own party coffers.
They must have know officials would have no choice but to refuse the offer: political parties cannot fund elections and doing so would undermine the independence of a democratic vote.
Today, Farage and his close lieutenants will celebrate his victory in the Clacton by-election.
But the fundamentals remain the same: he still faces an investigation into a £5million gift – an amount of money that is just baffling to the vast majority of his constituents – from Thai-based crypto billionaire, Christopher Harborne.
If he’s found to have broken MPs’ rules, a second by-election could be on the cards in a matter of months.
As a Labour souce told me: “Farage may have won the by-election, but he hasn’t escaped the questions hanging over him. Same scandals, same questions over his and Reform’s finances. Just a pointless trip to the polls.”
Farage may have won today, but it is a hollow victory and one with a staggering cost to Clacton’s residents.