‘Youri Tielemans apologising for Man Utd fact is pathetic – Villa followers want thicker pores and skin’

BRENT A GOB: This week, Harry Brent’s gone after Aston Villa fans for being too fragile, Youri Tielemans for coddling their insecurities, and Wayne Rooney for launching another Man Utd podcast

Youri Tielemans apologising for saying Manchester United are “above” Aston Villa is about as annoying and unwarranted as the smug smirk on Enzo Fernandez’s face.

Since when did stating an indisputable fact become controversial? What is this, an evening with Matt Le Tissier? Clearly, Aston Villa fans are about as precious as a bunch of toddlers on a tightrope. After all, they have a history of being irrational, emotional weirdos.

Remember when they disowned Jack Grealish for having the audacity to bank the club £100million – easily double what he was actually worth – by joining Manchester City after he stayed through relegation and dragged them back into the Premier League? I hadn’t seen a reaction that unhinged and hysterical since police started taping off park benches during lockdown.

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United are a bigger club than Aston Villa – in every conceivable metric. If you disagree, or think Tielemans is out of order for acknowledging that basic truth, you’re about as thick as you are fragile. Basically, you’re Reece James’ legs in human form.

If anything, Tielemans should apologise for apologising. Coddling pathetic fan insecurities is almost as delusional as thinking Alejandro Garnacho was a sensible signing.

Stop making Man Utd podcasts!

Football needs another United podcast like it needs another allegedly corrupt FIFA president. Seriously, the whole genre is about as inventive as Harry Maguire in the final third.

But that hasn’t stopped Mark Goldbridge – English football’s least-qualified pundit– and Wayne Rooney – English football’s least-qualified manager – from joining forces for a podcast that’s bound to hit Steve McManaman levels of broadcast torture.

It’s called Stick to United, which is a title that’s about as redundant as buying Pep Guardiola a comb given that ‘sticking to United’ is already the mandatory default setting for football shows in this country.

We’ve got Gary Neville and Roy Keane lecturing us on working-class grit in their £500 cashmere jumpers on The Overlap, Rio Ferdinand shouting over his guests on Rio Ferdinand Presents, and that God-awful one where Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt just wheeze for an hour like a couple of broken hoovers.

And now Wazza’s joined the circus. I, for one, can’t wait to hear more riveting anecdotes about what life was like playing under Sir Alex Ferguson – a topic that’s been revisited more times than Bonnie Blue’s lady bits.

I get that United are the best-supported team in the country, but like Ryan Giggs when he was porking his brother’s wife, this is taking “keeping it in the family” way too far.