If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Crash and burn
My sister and her boyfriend enjoy travelling the world. They don’t have a permanent base and crash with me.
They turn up out of the blue and never tell me how long they’re staying for. They never buy groceries or pay a penny towards bills. I live in a tiny flat. I give up my bedroom for them and my life becomes intolerable.
The boyfriend is very horny and all they do is have noisy sex. He’s also incredibly clumsy and they’re both untidy. Between them they’ve broken everything from my washing machine to my bed. He once managed to set fire to my duvet with a scented candle. Idiot.
I fear I’m in for another visit in the autumn because my Mum has heard my sister is almost broke. Sis is eking out an existence working the bar at a strip joint in Thailand but he’s unemployed.
Why should I have to keep hosting two, very selfish, immature people? How do I avoid having them here all winter?
JANE SAYS: Contact your sister now and give her plenty of notice. Make it clear that you won’t be able to host them again because you have too much going on in your life. You need your privacy and own space.
Be prepared for the fact that she won’t like it, because she obviously views you as a soft touch, but the air needs to be cleared if you and she aren’t to fall out completely. They’re full entitled to live any kind of nomadic life they fancy, but it’s not your job to keep facilitating them. They need to make other plans regarding the chilly autumn and winter seasons.
What about his family or other friends?
Whatever happens, don’t allow yourself to be intimidated and don’t back down or your resentment will grow.
Beep Beep
My boyfriend runs out at the first sign of trouble.
He won’t deal with bills, DIY or bad health.
Last year I struggled with a broken foot, and I didn’t see him for dust. My parents did everything for me and slagged him off non-stop, which was hard to hear.
Yet, as soon as I was mobile again (and able to cook and clean) he came back.
He’s currently hiding out at his Mum’s house because our shower is playing up. He expects me to sort everything out – plus pay the plumber.
He’s so hard to love and respect. Sometimes he sleeps with other girls just to punish me for nagging him.
JANE SAYS: Why do you stick with a man who is so unreliable and so awful? If he’s not interested in supporting you or giving practical help, then surely, you’d be better off on your own? He lets you down on every level.
His answer to your worries is to sleep with someone else? Great. How insulting is that? What about your sexual health and your self-respect? As I understand it, this creep succeeds by wheedling his way back into your affections.
See through him for the devious, user he is and dump him. Clearly, your frustrated parents have his measure.