If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Strange places
I want to bed loads of girls on a casual basis. I long to chat up strangers and enjoy sex in strange places. Unfortunately, I’m in a stifling relationship with a girlfriend of three years.
Anytime I attempt to break free, she drags me back.
I arrange to meet her in town with the express purpose of dumping her. But then I have a few drinks (for Dutch courage) and I drop my guard. One thing leads to another and before I know it, we’re back at her place having sex.
I know I’m insensitive and cold towards her too.
She once asked me to marry her and I snorted: “I’d rather marry my dog”. With that I went out, got off my face and slept with her mate. My girl found out and was devastated. Her brothers threatened to beat me up. How do I rid myself of her for good?
JANE SAYS: Aren’t you nice…
Start acting like a grown up. If you no longer love your girl, then come clean and tell her the truth. Stop using booze as a prop (excuse) and ask to see her stone, cold sober. Explain that this relationship has run its course. Apologise for being a moron and breaking her heart but make it clear that you need to move on.
Any breakup is tough but continuing to have sex with a woman you no longer love is plain wrong, especially if you can’t even bring yourself to be kind to her. You’ve been together for a while and she deserves better.
Type cast
My lover and I sleep together five times a month, but he won’t agree to a full-time relationship because I’m not his ‘forever girl’.
He likes a certain kind of woman; busty, blonde and sexually adventurous – and I’m not that. He says that I’m free to walk away any time I like, which I find cruel.
How can anyone be so unbending when we have such a lovely time when we’re together? How do I make him understand that I could make him happy and be more than a sordid bed buddy?
JANE SAYS: As harsh and inflexible as your friend is, you can’t deny that he’s always been scrupulously honest. Sadly, he’s just not interested in making you his life partner. He’s more than happy to have sex with you but beyond that you’re nothing more to him than a stop-gap shag.
I urge you to tell him ‘good-bye’ in order to reclaim your confidence and your life. When you’re ready, start looking for someone who wants what you want; someone who appreciates the unique person you are.
At the moment you’re frozen; you’re selling yourself short and have lost sight of who you are.
Lame brain
My mate keeps bringing her horrible boyfriend along to girly nights out. He’s a miserable devil. I feel he disapproves of us and holds her back. The other night he quipped that I’m a boozer and a lush – and he wasn’t joking.
She makes excuses for him, but I worry that he’s controlling her. She’s lost her spark and seems anxious.
JANE SAYS: What part of ‘girly night’ doesn’t this lame brain get?
Get your friend on her own and ask if she feels safe. Point out that she doesn’t have to stay with her boyfriend, especially if he’s controlling and possessive.
Also make it clear that he’s cramping everyone’s style and you don’t want him tagging along in future.
Promise to support her.
Type cast
My lover and I sleep together five times a month, but he won’t agree to a full-time relationship because I’m not his ‘forever girl’.
He likes a certain kind of woman; busty, blonde and sexually adventurous – and I’m not that. He says that I’m free to walk away any time I like, which I find cruel.
How can anyone be so unbending when we have such a lovely time when we’re together? How do I make him understand that I could make him happy and be more than a sordid bed buddy?
JANE SAYS: As harsh and inflexible as your friend is, you can’t deny that he’s always been scrupulously honest. Sadly, he’s just not interested in making you his life partner. He’s more than happy to have sex with you but beyond that you’re nothing more to him than a stop-gap shag.
I urge you to tell him ‘good-bye’ in order to reclaim your confidence and your life. When you’re ready, start looking for someone who wants what you want; someone who appreciates the unique person you are.
At the moment you’re frozen; you’re selling yourself short and have lost sight of who you are.
Lame brain
My mate keeps bringing her horrible boyfriend along to girly nights out. He’s a miserable devil. I feel he disapproves of us and holds her back. The other night he quipped that I’m a boozer and a lush – and he wasn’t joking. She makes excuses for him, but I worry that he’s controlling her. She’s lost her spark and seems anxious.
JANE SAYS: What part of ‘girly night’ doesn’t this lame brain get?
Get your friend on her own and ask if she feels safe. Point out that she doesn’t have to stay with her boyfriend, especially if he’s controlling and possessive. Also make it clear that he’s cramping everyone’s style and you don’t want him tagging along in future. Promise to support her.