JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is tired of his girl putting her career before their sex life
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Rudely interrupted by the boss
My girl loves her job so much that she takes calls DURING sex. Five times recently she’s pushed me off her – as I’ve been pumping away – to talk to clients and her boss.
The other day it was my birthday. I organised a meal, fizz and a romantic early night. We showered together and then hit the sack for passion. I was stroking her breasts and getting excited when her phone started vibrating. I hissed: “Leave it’. But she saw it was her most important client and answered anyway. I was left as deflated as a popped balloon.
When I dared to complain, she accused me of being ‘unrealistic’. How does that work? I’m not involved in any aspect of her job. I’m never invited to after-work drinks or celebratory events and haven’t met anyone she sits next to.
I’m only useful for putting food on the table and picking up her dry cleaning.
There is a big fund-raising bash coming up, but I’m not on the list. I’m just an ordinary bloke, but I don’t think she likes the fact that I work for the council and don’t have a posh accent.
Once we were enjoying a restaurant meal when she suddenly froze. She hissed at me to get out and start the car. She paid the bill and then took ages to come out and join me.
It was only later that I realised that someone from her firm must have rocked up. She wanted me out of the way. Now she’s saying that her boss wants her to head up a new office in Manchester, so I’ll be seeing a lot less of her in future.
What is my role in her busy life?
JANE SAYS: Ambition and a strong work ethic are all very well but where is your girl’s work/life balance?
Where is her respect for you and the life you have together? Tell her that you refuse to be treated like a second class citizen. You’re not stupid; you can tell that she’s embarrassed by you. Whatever happens, you can’t allow her to continue to pull the wool over your eyes or shout you down. You know how you’re treated.
You saw the terrified look in her eyes when she imagined that one of her precious colleagues had spotted you.
She must understand that you are a valid person in your own right. Refuse to be hidden away and treated like trash. Tell her that it’s over because you’ve had enough. She may well come to her senses and suggest a fresh start, but, in my opinion, that would be too little too late. I think you both need to start again as single people.
You deserve someone who truly appreciates you and she needs to grow up and stop being so narrowly focused and a snob. Perhaps, one day, she’ll look back and realise what a decent person you are.
Hopefully, by then you’ll be in a happy and stable relationship with someone who appreciates your true value.
Can’t you see that the love and the respect have gone? You and your girlfriend are simply going through the motions.