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Great expectations
The first time my girl and I slept together it was amazing – but I told her that it was just sex.
I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in an emotional attachment. She said that she was cool and didn’t want anything heavy either.
Now I text her when I’m horny and we have sex on my terms. Only she’s just started getting really difficult. She’s saying that she loves me and wants us to be a proper couple.
Every time I tell I’m going back to my place (alone), she throws a wobbly. She calls me callous and hard and has even accused me of playing with her feelings and using her.
The thing is that she understood the rules at the start: I don’t want commitment.
The other night I suggested going to a sex party with a mate of mine and she flipped out. Yet we’ve had loads of threesomes and been to several kinky parties in the past. What has changed?
Suddenly she wants more from me than I’m willing to give. She craves marriage, children and a mortgage, whereas I’m not interested in settling down.
How do I get her to go back to being her usual self? If I wanted to get married (which I don’t) then I certainly wouldn’t choose someone like her.
I’d want someone with a lot of money and influence, which she doesn’t have. Any time I point out that I’m way out of her league, she starts to cry. I can’t stand this.
JANE SAYS: Just listen to yourself. Don’t you understand how cruel and heartless you’re being?
Your lover is only human and can’t help how she feels. By sleeping with you, she’s grown fond of you. Regular sex without any form of emotional attachment is a hard one to pull off. She feels comfortable and cherished in your arms and wants you all to herself. Sex is no longer a game to her; it’s important and special.
Sadly, if you don’t feel the same way. If you don’t feel that you can offer her the love and exclusivity she craves, then you must come clean now.
Arrange to meet her and tell her face-to-face that this union must end right here. You’re sorry that it has come to this, but you’re not able to give her want she wants. Hopefully, both you and she will learn a valuable lesson from this mess. What you can’t continue to do is use her for sex when you know how she feels about you.
I must say that you seem to show incredible insensitivity on a regular basis. What is wrong with you? Who tells anyone that they are punching above their weight? How cruel.
You need to start getting over yourself and start acting like a decent human being. If you’re so keen to find a rich lover, then start looking now.
Good luck with that one.