If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Naked ambition
I like being nude. I like the feel of the wind in my hair…
Our local nudist beach is my happy place. Stripping off gives me an enormous sense of freedom. I never wear clothes at home for the same reason. I keep a gown by the front door that I slip on for deliveries but, apart from that I’m usually as bare as the day I was born.
I thought my girlfriend understood this. She’s just moved in here but is already trying to change me.
The other night I came home and disrobed as usual, and she tutted. She announced that she had friends coming over and that I needed to dress up or hide myself away – in my own flat.
We rowed and now she’s sulking. Why claim to love who I am and then attempt to her impose rules?
JANE SAYS: It often happens in relationships that one person attempts to change the other – despite claiming to like what made the lover interesting and unique in the first place…
Your partner has moved into your space but has now decided that she doesn’t like your habit of stripping off after all. In fact, she’d like to repackage and restyle you.
But you are clearly a free spirited individual and cannot allow yourself to be crushed. Have this out with her; explain that if she doesn’t like your habits then this experiment clearly isn’t working.
It’s vital that you remain true to yourself you’ll end up very unhappy and resentful.
Going through the motions
How do I improve an unreliable guy?
We met at my last job and clicked over chips in the canteen. There was an undeniable sexual chemistry between us. We first slept together last May, and it was wonderful. Since then, he’s let me down (usually at the very last minute) half a dozen times.
We’ve currently got a date in the diary for next Saturday and he swears he’s going to be around, but is it even worth me booking a hotel room? Is he simply going through the motions because he hasn’t got the guts to admit that he no longer fancies me?
JANE SAYS: Surely half a dozen ‘no shows’ tells you all you need to know? Sadly, unless the guy is on a secret mission to save the planet, you will have to conclude that he’s not choosing to spend his spare time with you.
Don’t sell yourself short by hanging around for yet another disappointment.
Tell him today that you are moving on. Wish him well and walk away with your head held high. If he’s not interested in you, then there are plenty of other people who will be. He sounds rude and shifty to me.
Dodgy grub
I recently became ill after a meal at my friend’s house. She served chicken that, I suspect, was past it’s use-by date. I missed work and lost income.
All I want is for her to say ‘sorry’ and acknowledge that she made a mistake, but she won’t. I’ve suggested she compensate me, but now she’s ignoring my messages. How dare she?
JANE SAYS: I agree that your friend should apologise for making you ill. If her purchasing or refrigeration methods weren’t up to scratch, then she should own up.
Maybe she doesn’t wish to admit liability in case you threaten to take this matter further? I suspect she’s mortified and wants this whole, sorry episode to go away.
Can you remain mates? I think it’s unlikely.