If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Seething with rage
I’ve been dumped, hurt, and humiliated and I want revenge. I look great. I’m funny and popular.
I don’t understand why my ex-boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore.
He’s fallen in love with someone else – someone who isn’t half as attractive or sexy as I am. What’s going on?
His head is in the clouds, he maintains they’ve connected on a spiritual level, that she gets and understands him in a way that I never will.
He apologies for breaking my heart but swears that they didn’t have sex – or even kiss – until he and I split two weeks ago. Now, I suspect they’re shagging for Britain and that makes me very, very angry…
What about me? What am I supposed to do now?
I’m so tempted to go round to his place, catch them in bed and pour a bucket of water over their heads.
Either that or stick pins in his condoms or put chilli powder in his underwear drawer. What he doesn’t realise is that I’ve still got a key to his place. He forgot to ask for it back when he ditched me. I’m spending hours plotting their downfall.
My replacement makes Frankenstein’s monster look like a class act. She’s loud, overblown, and tacky.
They hooked up at a party while I was working away. So not only did she steal my man from under my nose, but she leapt in when I was unable to shield him.
Now I see them walking around our small town, arm-in-arm and I’m fuming.
I can’t work out what he sees in her. Yet he’s told mutual friends that he’s determined to spend the rest of his life in her horrible arms. The same friends are telling me that he’s not worth fighting over, but I’m not someone who likes to be beaten. What’s so wrong with a little retribution between ex-lovers?
JANE SAYS: Your pride is wounded; you’re feeling hurt, lost, and abandoned, but you have to let your ex-boyfriend go and move on with your life. No, this current situation isn’t fair, but what is? At the moment you can’t work out what your ex sees in this other woman, and you feel insulted. You want answers and explanations, but there are none. He’s loved up and high on emotion and looking forwards. Force yourself to be strong and don’t do anything stupid or you really will find yourself in trouble.
I urge you to get a message to him. Tell him you’ve still got his spare key and ask him what he wants you to do with it. Should you put it in an envelope and post it through his letter box or what?
If it’s true that he believes he’s found his soul mate, then you can’t compete or change who you are.
Accept that he’s a different person now; he’s on a different path and happy with his new partner.
Concentrate on your exciting next chapter. If you continue to be bitter and angry, then they will have won.
The idea of revenge being a ‘dish best served cold’ may be a delicious one as far as you’re concerned, but I urge you, in the strongest possible terms not to go there.
Retain your dignity and accept when you’re beaten.
Pick your battles
I’m a regular bloke; I like football, a pint and researching historic battles.
Now a gaggle of female colleagues have started picking on me and calling me a nerd. They mock my ideas and hobbies. They think I’m odd for not dressing better or going to clubs and festivals. How dare they make me feel uncomfortable?
JANE SAYS: I strongly urge you to stand up for yourself. Report this harassment to your boss or someone in your HR department and insist on action. Y
ou are you; you don’t need to apologise for that and cannot allow yourself to be driven out. Keep a diary of everything that happens with dates and times. Picking on you isn’t appropriate or remotely funny.
No one has the right to bully or intimidate.