If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Dirty habits
How do I stop my flat mate from having sex with her scummy boyfriend in my bed?
It’s disgusting. I come home from work and my room looks as though a bomb has hit it. There are messed up sheets and used condoms everywhere.
Plus, they eat pizza and drink beer under the covers too.
She is between jobs and being financed by her rich parents. I don’t think he does anything at all, but, between them they have no regard for my feelings or stuff.
She pouts that it’s not fair because I have the biggest room and the best bed. Why shouldn’t they share? But I pay more rent and bought that bed myself.
JANE SAYS: Your flat mate clearly has a huge sense of entitlement and enormous amount of growing up to do. She can’t stand the fact you have the bigger room and better bed and sees nothing wrong with moving in on your space.
She is sneaky and selfish. You need to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that she is not to cross that threshold again. Boil wash that bedlinen, scrub the room from top to bottom and ask the landlord to fit a lock.
If that’s not forthcoming or permitted, then do you need to think about moving on? You need to be in a place where you’re happy and can trust those around you.
They legged it
My brother and sister ran a mile when our dad got ill.
It was left to me to find carers, do his shopping, and hold his hand during his darkest nights.
My siblings never visited but sobbed throughout Dad’s funeral in July. I paid for everything as Dad was poverty stricken. Yet my brother asked if he could have his watch, which I literally threw at him.
Now my sister has texted suggesting a coffee. I suspect she’s trying to find out if Dad left any cash. How dare she?
JANE SAYS: You did your very best for your late father.
You were by his side when he needed you most and you put on a respectful and appropriate funeral. Your sister and brother will have to live with themselves knowing that they did nothing to help.
If you’re not ready to see your sister yet, then text her back informing her that your poor dad didn’t leave a penny. Would she care to contribute to the funeral expenses?
Hopefully you’ll all resolve your issues in the months or years ahead, but, in the meantime, take some time out for yourself. Put your needs first and applaud yourself for doing the right thing at the right time.
Change of heart
My ex-boyfriend is bad-mouthing me and calling me cruel names. Why? When we broke up – by mutual agreement – we promised that we’d stay friends and not be nasty about each other.
I thought I had his word. But, apparently, he’s now saying that I was a control freak and useless in bed. I feel betrayed and let down.
JANE SAYS: I get the impression that your ex-boyfriend is still hurting and still cares. Otherwise, why would he bother mentioning you at all? Being rude about you is his way of showing the world that he’s fine.
He doesn’t want anyone to think he’s bothered. It’s all quite sad and pathetic really, but don’t you rise to the bait. Ignore him. Turn the other cheek and retain your dignity.