If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Hello Dolly
I fear my boyfriend has fallen in love with his sex doll.
He’s more interested in his silicone brunette than me.
I’m insulted and freaked out.
I’m just back from working abroad. I made him promise on my departure that he wouldn’t go with other women. Well, he hasn’t. But he has invested in a real size, busty bombshell that has become his plaything and soul mate…
Every time I go round to see him ‘she’ is there too in pride of place. He talks to her and buys her lacy undies.
Naturally he’s suggested ‘she’ joins us in bed, which I’ve absolutely banned. How can I compete when, if I’m honest, ‘she’s’ better looking than I am?
JANE SAYS: Your boyfriend’s sex doll may have been a good stop gap while you were away, but you’re back now and normal service needs to resume. Would he have a problem ditching it/her?
Is he emotionally as well as sexually attached? Would he like to talk about that?
Obviously, what he gets up to in the privacy of his bedroom is his business. If his sex doll gives him all the satisfaction and comfort, he craves then what’s your role?
My concern is that this adult aid is a barrier; that it’s stopping him from enjoying a real relationship with you. The last thing you want is it popping up from behind the sofa – a la Del Boy and Rodney.
I urge you to discuss…
Dangerous territory
My ex-lover is holding me to ransom.
She still has loads of my stuff at her place that she’s refusing to release. From clothes to gym equipment, she won’t allow my brother to collect on my behalf.
She says if I want my gear – then I have to personally go round and get it. Apparently, that’s ‘only polite and respectful’. I know how her mind works, she thinks she can trap me with booze and guilt and the promise of sex.
She’s banking on me falling back into bed with her. But I’m exhausted by her and crave my freedom.
How do I make her understand this?
JANE SAYS: Your ex-girlfriend may be desperate to lure you back, but you have to stand strong. Keep your cool but warn her that you’re done with playing games.
The relationship is over, and you’re entitled to your stuff back. Insist she’s adult about this. Does she want a lawyer, or the police involved? Does she wish to be embarrassed and made to look childish?
Give her a time and a date and inform her that you and your brother will be arriving to collect. You will be respectful and quick. Make it clear that no one benefits from drama or spite.
Tag along
I can’t move without my neighbour sticking her nose in. I belong to clubs and societies. I organise holidays and meet-ups with loads of mates from all walks of my life.
But it annoys me that she feels entitled to join me in everything I do even though we have nothing in common.
How do I encourage her to clear off and live her own life?
JANE SAYS: Your neighbour is not your responsibility.
Speak up and tell her that you’re happy to be friends, but she can’t rely on you to organise her social life.
Make it clear that you like to do your own thing and that you often like to be spontaneous and free.
Sadly, if she doesn’t like that, then that’s unfortunate, but you cannot feel guilty about seizing the day and being your own person.