Dear Jane
Never again
My partner has admitted that she never plans to have sex with me again. I’m angry because she could have told me this ages ago. She’s wasted my time. Back in 2024 I took her on a romantic break. We had a quickie on the Saturday morning and then she claimed to have a headache for the rest of weekend. We’ve never been intimate again since. She’s turned me down with every excuse from feeling sick to ‘not being in the mood’.
The other night, during a terrible row she confessed that she doesn’t enjoy physical contact. It’s not me – it’s her. Oh, and I’m not allowed to take a lover because that would ‘hurt her feelings’. What’s going on?
JANE SAYS: There could be several reasons for her lack of interest in sex; confusion about her own sexuality; a loss of sexual confidence; physical or mental illness…
It’s important that you speak to her again to find out why she’s rejecting you. You need to know where you stand. Is she willing to see a medical professional or relationship counsellor regarding this situation? Unfortunately, if you crave comfort and a satisfying sex life – and she’s not willing to meet you halfway or open up, then do you have to think about moving on? You cannot allow yourself to settle for second best if this situation isn’t making you happy.
Tight wads
My family want me dead. I’m a mature woman and they covet my money. Over the summer I was very ill. I was in and out of hospital, yet my daughter sounded disappointed when I announced I was feeling better.
I live in a nice house with money in the bank. I’ve worked hard all my life, plus I inherited cash from my parents who were extremely frugal and never went on holidays.
I don’t squander cash. When I die my adult son and daughter will get everything. But they’re sick of waiting.
How dare they make me feel bad for being alive?
JANE SAYS: What’s wrong with sharing your money around and making the lives of your children easier now?
What are you waiting for? I imagine that they have many scary bills to pay, especially in this financial climate. Speak to your financial adviser about your needs and your options and vow to meet your family halfway because you cannot allow money to come between you.
Explain to your family that you’re looking into this matter and would appreciate a lot more kindness and respect in future. Just because your parents did things in a certain way, doesn’t mean that you must follow their example.
Balancing act
Everyone I know is on weight loss jabs right now.
My partner has lost a huge amount of weight, but I hate the way she looks. She’s way too thin.
She’s wearing tiny clothes and bragging about her loss of appetite, but she’s skin and bone which is not sexy. When I comment she explodes…
JANE SAYS: Be kinder. Your girl needs to know that you’re on her side and acting out of love. If you fear she is going too far in her pursuit of the perfect body, then you’re entitled to ask her to take care. Many of us would benefit from exercising more and eating healthily, but if she’s now beginning to look ill, then that’s not good either.
Cherish and support her rather than criticising and crushing her confidence.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.