Dear Jane,
Scandalous behaviour
The other night I popped round to my mum’s house to find her romping, naked, on the front room carpet, with my ex-boss. I took one look, rushed to the loo and was sick.
I’m disgusted. What she doesn’t know is that he and I slept together briefly in 2022. We fell out when I discovered that he was also bonking my mate and paying me less than everyone else.
Now my silly Mum is loved up and ridiculous. Not only do I have to put up with his ugly face every time I visit, but I must watch her skipping around like a big kid. I live a couple of miles away but still have my own key to her house. Does she deserve the truth?
JANE SAYS: Family conflict is always to be avoided.
Your mum must hear your story in full. Explain how much this guy hurt you and how badly he treated you when you worked together. Suggest she can probably do better for herself.
Once she is full possession of the facts, then she can decide how to proceed.
For your part, you need to start showing her some respect. Simply letting yourself into her home, without knocking, isn’t on. Discuss boundaries because you’re all adults and deserve to be happy and settled. Can you forgive your ex-boss/lover in order to set yourself free and start again on a new footing?
Hunker down
I’ve lost touch with all my friends. Several have moved away and others are wrapped up with new partners and demanding jobs. On top of that, my darts team has disbanded, and my pottery class has been axed.
You might be surprised to hear this, but I’m delighted. Suddenly I feel free. I’m no longer bogged down by other people – and their problems and moans. My boyfriend is worried. He doesn’t like me staying in every night and not speaking to anyone else apart from him. He says it’s not healthy.
Is there something wrong with me? Why am I so happy to be on my own?
JANE SAYS: It’s possible that your old friends were beginning to bore and overwhelm you. Doing the same old thing, over and over, can have that effect. If you now feel happy and free, then that’s great but nothing must stay the same forever. I think a lot of people hunker down and hibernate during these winter months but come the spring or summer, you may feel like making new mates and getting out there again.
New friends might bring excitement and challenges. Never say never. Reassure your guy that you’re okay. Enjoy this period of calm but take care not to isolate yourself.
Earth shattering
I’m not convinced that I’ve ever had an orgasm. I’ve had sex with several lovers – and mildly enjoyed myself – but have never been blown away. I’ve not screamed my head off or felt my brain explode with anyone.
My latest boyfriend is handsome and boasts that he’s a great lover, but I can’t help feeling I’m missing something. Am I picking the wrong partners or is there something wrong with?
JANE SAYS: It could be that your lovers need more information and guidance. Orgasms are good for us. They help release feel-great hormones and promote healthy blood flow.
Invest in a sex toy. Find a female-friendly type and explore your own body. Find out what pleases and works for you. However, if sex is ever painful then please arrange to speak to your GP.
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