AI imagines Jose Mourinho’s ‘s***present’ Everton spell as he teases Premier League return

Admit it, when Jose Mourinho said he’s open to a Premier League return there’s one club that we all thought.

Everton.

So, Jose, please give us the carnival we all deserve. However not content with just imagining the scenario, here at Daily Star Sport, we crunched the numbers in a supercomputer and asked it to imagine what a season at Everton could look like if the Special One rolled into town.

It all starts in August: “Mourinho’s press conference is iconic from the start,” AI says. “He arrives in a full Everton-blue suit, dropping hints that he took the job ‘because Liverpool is in the city and someone needs to humble them’.

“He also claims, ‘the People’s Club deserves the People’s Manager’. Already the Twitter battles begin.” This is cinema already.

And it only get’s better. AI then goes onto to describe the first Merseyside derby (as Everton have seemingly avoided the drop) where Mourinho walks out at Anfield with a “chest-puffed swagger” and snubs Arne Slot’s handshake.

It adds: “Two Everton players are sent off after scuffles sparked by Mourinho’s provocative touchline theatrics, like sarcastic clapping every time Liverpool makes a mistake. In the post-match interview, he shrugs and says, ‘Some clubs have class, others just have Slot’.”

AI details more clashes, including one with old foe Pep Guardiola, before it’s time for the Merseyside derby mark two. This time it’s at Everton, and Mourinho has deployed a five-back.

“Everton win 1-0 and the full-time whistle blows, Mourinho sprints down the touchline, à la Porto 2004,” it adds.

Of course it wouldn’t be Mourinho without some classic press conference antics, AI outlines jibes at referees and coaches alike – with press conference where he “maybe we should all wear red”.

Quite incredibly, AI has Everton just missing out on the Champions League spots under Jose – so please, Everton, do the right thing – give him 12 months.