‘I hate threesomes and group intercourse – I placed on an act each time we go to mattress’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who has allowed herself to be sucked into a world of play acting and adult fun
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Check out some of Jane’s top recent advice:
‘Cocky lover’s wife looks like a supermodel – so why is he having grubby sex with me?’
‘I can’t keep my hands off best mate’s hubby – I’m scared I’ll bonk him on group holiday’
‘Wild swinging neighbours keep offering to give my girl a good servicing’
I’m no rampant tiger
My boyfriend doesn’t know the real me.
I play a part every time we go to bed together. He thinks I enjoy kinky positions and edgy practices, but I don’t.
The problem is that when we met. I sold myself as a sexually adventurous woman. I told him that I was a tiger, that I was into threesomes, group sex and extreme toys.
Now I he expects me to act in a particular way when we go to adult parties or have people round, but this is not me.
Recently we hosted a gathering where everyone got naked and ran around the garden playing kiss chase and I hated every minute of it. I’m living a lie and I’m suffering from increasing bouts of guilt and self-loathing. How do I change things without him going off me?
JANE SAYS: It’s vital that you’re true to yourself and what you believe in. Stop playing games because your boyfriend deserves better. I suspect we’re all guilty of ‘over-selling’ ourselves at the beginning of any new relationship, but you’ll make yourself ill if you continue to fake it.
Talk to him away from the bedroom about how you proceed from here. Be honest because you can still have fun and feel fulfilled in a more low key way.
Sadly, if he does accuse you of leading him on, then you will have to conclude that he isn’t right for you.
You have to be able to look yourself in the mirror.
Lazy son-in-law is a leech
My daughter works her socks off. Her lazy, back slider of a husband does very little. His mother walks their dogs while he plays computer games.
My girl puts in 10-hour days and works weekends. Recently, during a family meal, he and I clashed after he listed all the countries he plans to visit in the next ten years. From Australia to Chile, he’s got it all mapped out. My daughter brings in the vast majority of the money and he’s a leech. How do I stop him from exhausting and fleecing her?
JANE SAYS: Be very careful. Don’t make your daughter choose between her husband and you. You have no idea what makes this marriage work. It could be that they’ve decided to rely on her wages during these ‘high earning years’ and have long term plans for a calmer lifestyle and work/life balance down the line.
The last thing your daughter needs is to sense your disapproval or feel she has to watch her words. Could you help her out with emotional support and practical favours? She needs to hear that she’s got you in her corner.
He’s expects drunken fun
I’ve been accused of becoming suburban and boring. My boyfriend wants to know what happened to the tequila swigging party girl he fell in love with.
He hates the fact that I’ve given up nightclubs and stopped drinking. Instead, I’m going to the gym and eating healthily, and he hates it.
JANE SAYS: You’re entitled to make your own decisions and live your life your way. Tell your boyfriend that he upsets you every time he makes nasty comments and belittles you.
You’re allowed to grow up and mature.
Nightclubbing and drinking to excess are unsustainable.
Does he genuinely love you as a person or are you simply his drinking buddy? His plus one? Make it clear that you won’t be manipulated or shamed.
