‘Cheating ex-lover says she will be able to change – I do not know if I imagine her’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is being pestered by his ex-girlfriend for a second chance
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She bonked in Benidorm
My ex and I split up when she cheated on me during her hen trip. We were due to marry in 2023, but she blew it when she went wild and bonked several men in Benidorm. My sister was on the trip, saw the whole thing and felt honour-bound to tell me the truth.
My ex drank like a fish, took recreational drugs and went wild over a four-day period. My sis sent me X-rated pictures, and I cancelled the wedding. Now my ex is begging for another chance. She believes she’s ready to settle down and swears she’ll never pull a stunt like that again, but can I believe and trust her?
JANE SAYS: Your ex-girlfriend has a long road ahead of her if she’s to be trusted and believed again. A one-off (possibly drunken) fumble would have been bad enough, but for her to run riot just before your wedding day takes some digesting. How has she changed?
Has she given up booze and recreational drugs? Has she spoken to a health professional regarding her outrageous behaviour?
Do not be rushed into anything. Tell her that you need to think this over. Of course, people mature and learn from their mistakes. Your girl is only human and by no means perfect, but you must be completely sure that she is capable of making you happy long term. If she’s not, then she must remain your ex.
Her rants are pants
My husband insists we visit his parents every Sunday for lunch. Unfortunately, his mother has some very strange political views that she feels obliged to share.
I’m forced to sit on my hands with my mouth shut as she rants on about the things she believes in. My husband begs me to keep quiet for the sake of family harmony but why should I put up with it? This is leading to furious arguments between us.
JANE SAYS: Be proactive. Tell your mother-in-law that you feel guilty about her doing all the work and having the expense of a big Sunday lunch every week. Insist they come to your house on alternate Sundays so that things are more evenly spread out.
I suspect she feels she has the right to say anything she likes in her own home, but she shouldn’t vent in yours. The alternative is that you ask if future family lunches can be politics free zones.
You’re an adult so don’t hold back. Be honest with the woman. Explain that you are busy all week and crave peace and harmony at the weekends. Should she join a political party and let her steam off at meetings and rallies instead?
Once bitten
My wife died in 2022. I nursed her for two years. I took her to the hospital appointments and cared for her, and it was exhausting. I’m now dating a wonderful woman who says she loves me but how can I commit?
What if she also gets sick? I don’t think I could go through the trauma of a terminal sickness all over again.
JANE SAYS: None of know what life has in store for us. Don’t give up on love just because you fear the future. Isn’t it better to be with someone who cares for you? Who knows – maybe you’ll get ill and she’ll be the one supporting you.
Be open with her about your concerns. She deserves to hear what you’re thinking. I’m sure she has plenty of fears of her own.
