Shakespeare it ain’t! The most toe-curling poetry written by celebrities – as RFK Jr’s raunchy ‘love letters’ to journalist are uncovered

Celebrities often forget that being famed for one talent doesn’t guarantee you’re good at everything – but it’s not stopped them from expressing their most profound thoughts through the medium of poetry.

The result? Toe-curling verses that readers either mock or scorn.

Perhaps with delusions of being the next Lord Byron or Shakespeare, these cringeworthy couplets are often shared entirely of the stars’ own volition.

Others did not expect their verses to be exposed to the wider world. Think Ryan Giggs and his raunchy notes to ex-girlfriend Kate Greville declaring ‘You are the truffle in my pasta’, which were read out in court.

Now, Robert F Kennedy Jr, 71, the nephew of former president John F Kennedy, has been accused of sending erotic poems to Olivia Nuzzi, 32, a former journalist with New York Magazine, during their alleged ‘digital affair’ last year.

The poetry was revealed by Ms Nuzzi’s ex-fiancé Ryan Lizza, 51, in an explosive piece shared to his Substack on Saturday.

One message reportedly read: ‘Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest.’ Another text allegedly said: ‘I am a river. You are my canyon, I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. My Love.’

But President Trump’s health secretary is far from the first well-known face to put pen to paper to write a rhyme or two. Read on to explore the cringy poems penned by celebrities…

Poet: Believed to be RFK Jr 

Subject: Believed to be Olivia Nuzzi

Robert F Kennedy Jr wrote a cringe-inducing raunchy poem to journalist Olivia Nuzzi during their scandalous ‘digital affair’ last year, her scorned ex-partner claimed.  

Ryan Lizza says Mr Kennedy Jr sent Ms Nuzzi poetic texts filled with explicit sexual demands – even though the pair’s affair was only carried out online. 

One message reportedly read: ‘Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest.’ Another text allegedly said: ‘I am a river. You are my canyon, I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. My Love.’ 

Mr Lizza claimed that other messages graphically detailed sexual acts, but were ‘too explicit to print.’  The messages were revealed by Mr Lizza in an explosive piece shared to his Substack on Saturday. 

He claimed he uncovered a slew of racy messages after learning about Ms Nuzzi’s ‘digital affair’ with Mr Kennedy.

He added that his ex insisted that she ‘never touched’ Mr Kennedy, and said their alleged affair was carried out entirely over the phone and through messages.

The Daily Mail contacted Mr Kennedy’s Health and Human Services agency and Ms Nuzzi for comment when first publishing the story.

Mr Kennedy, who is married to actress Cheryl Hines, was first embroiled in a scandal with the then-New York Magazine journalist last year following rumours of the alleged ‘digital affair’. 

Mr Kennedy and his representatives have denied an inappropriate relationship, claiming he met Ms Nuzzi – who lost her job and her fiancé over the scandal – only once, which was during an interview. 

Poet: Ryan Giggs

Subject: His ex-girlfriend Kate Greville

In a series of toe-curling online love notes, read out in court in August 2022, Ryan Giggs’ poems to his ex-girlfriend Kate Greville were revealed.

In one particularly explicit poem, read out in court as part of the former footballer’s domestic assault trial, with Giggs’s 66-year-old mother Lynn present, the former Wales midfielder wrote to the PR executive: ‘My darling Kate, Unequivocally our love was fate.

‘I fell in love with you at first sight. I remember cos I was as high as a kite. Those beautiful eyes made me shiver. I’m not going to lie I think of you I dream of you. Can’t help thinking pulling you was my greatest ever coup.

‘That stomach, those abs, those pictures you send so I can keep tabs. You make me feel funny down there. Especially when you’re there and you look up and stare.

‘I am beginning to think you are always right. That’s ok it will keep us tight. I’m gonna end by saying you are my love, my friend, my soul. And most of all you believe in me which makes me as hard as a totem pole.’ It was sent in response to a poem from Ms Greville in which she wrote: ‘You make my heart flutter because you are a nutter. Every day you do me proud not just because you are well endowed.’

Elsewhere, he compared Kate to Fort Knox ‘because it’s full of gold’.

The court also heard how the former Wales star signed off one text to Ms Greville referring to himself as ‘Giggsy’ – a nickname commonly used throughout his football career – and told her ‘reiterate is a big word for this time of day’ during an early morning texting session.

In another cringeworthy exchange, read out to jurors, Giggs also told Ms Greville he had made ‘scrambled eggs a la chef Giggsy’ for breakfast, and messaged her saying: ‘I think you’re fandabidozi’.

Giggs also wrote an acrostic poem using the first letters of Ms Greville’s surname, including ‘Gorgeous’ for ‘G’, ‘Vivacious’ for ‘V’ and ‘Everything I’ve Ever Wanted’ for ‘E’.

And Ms Greville also wrote her own explicit poetry, including one message which read: ‘I’m counting down the days. I’m thinking of all the ways. I’m going to make that gorgeous c*** of yours raise.’

Many of the messages contained a number of kisses at the end, which lawyers in the case had initially read out by saying ‘kiss, kiss’ at the end of each text.

In 2023, the footballer was found not guilty of domestic violence allegations made by his ex-girlfriend Kate Greville after prosecutors offered no evidence and withdrew the prosecution on Tuesday at Manchester Crown Court. 

Ms Greville told police and lawyers she did not want to go through the ordeal of a second trial after jurors failed to reach verdicts in the high-profile first trial the previous year, the court heard.

Lawyers said there was no longer any realistic prospect of conviction and it was not in the public interest for Giggs to go on trial for a second time over allegations made by Ms Greville and her sister Emma.

Peter Wright KC, prosecuting, offered no evidence against Giggs, who was not present for the 20-minute hearing as the allegations were formally dropped.

Judge Hilary Manley entered ‘not guilty’ verdicts on the charges of coercive and controlling behaviour and assault against Kate Greville and common assault of her sister.

Giggs had been accused of controlling behaviour over a three-year period involving Ms Greville.

He was also accused of assault by ‘losing control’ and headbutting Ms Greville and the common assault of Emma Greville by elbowing her in the jaw, during a row at his home in Worsley, Greater Manchester, on November 1 2020.

Giggs denied the offences and underwent a month-long trial, ending in August 2022 when the jury failed to reach any verdicts, and a retrial was scheduled to begin on July 2023.

But Mr Wright told Manchester Crown Court that the case had been considered at the highest levels at the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) and a decision had been made not to proceed with a second trial.

Poet: Matthew McConaughey

Subject: Marriage or Camila Alves

Matthew McConaughey recently turned his hand to rhyming verses, releasing a book titled Poems & Prayers.

The Oscar winner – who shares three children with his Brazilian-American model wife Camila Alves – revealed in one of the poems the one bedroom secret that has kept his 13-year marriage alive. 

He wrote: ‘The best thing you can / do for your / marriage. One way to surely / get ahead, / is get rid of that / king-size mattress, / and sleep in a / queen-size bed.’ 

The advice took fans by surprise and made headlines, with Matthew explaining to Fox News that he was inspired to write it after he woke up one morning and realised Camila was ‘like a football field away’ from him.

‘You’re like, man, this damn king-size bed is not good for the marriage man. Get rid of that son of a b****. So we got a queen size where we’re shoulder to shoulder. I’m telling you, it’s good for your marriage.’

He also told The Guardian in another interview that he and Camila initially got the king-sized mattress because their children used to come and sleep in the same bed as them – but once they stopped, the physical distance between husband and wife became clearer.

‘I’m over here by my side table and 18ft over there is Camila with her side table and we’re like, ‘Nighhhhht!’

However, the rest of Matthew’s book was less favourably received, with The Telegraph’s critic Tristam Fane Saunders panning it as a ‘masturbatory letter to self’ and ‘the worst book I have ever read’.

Meanwhile, The Washington Post described the contents of the book as not ‘very good and sometimes actively bad, stuffed with banalities or forced diction to pull off a rhyme’.

The subject of each poem varied wildly, covering everything in Matthew’s life from his family to his prostate – which he described as making him ‘grumpy as a grinch’ when a toilet could not be found at a time of need – to even the popular mobile game Candy Crush.

Poet: Lewis Hamilton

Subject: Princess Diana

For reasons unknown, in 2017, Lewis Hamilton inflicted a foray into poetry on social media users – with a toe-curling tribute to Princess Diana.

His chosen method of paying tribute to the royal on the 20th anniversary of her death was to upload his poem, England’s Rose, to Instagram next to a strangely stern-looking snap of his subject matter.

He found the time to share his innermost thoughts about the princess, who died when he was 12, while in Monza ahead of the Italian Grand Prix.

In the poem, he implies that her death in 1997 robbed the country of a future leader, despite her divorcing out of the monarchy the previous year.

But luckily for Lewis, her greatness was such that her love still fills hearts to this day.

‘England’s beauty captured in one sweet soul, carried the torch – God rest her soul,’ he writes, before appearing to question the whereabouts of her remains.

‘Hearts still full Of the love she gave, 20 years since she laid in her grave,’ he writes.

The Formula One champion also shared a slideshow of his favourite Diana photos, set to Van Morrison’s ‘Into the Mystic’.

Poet: AnnaLynne McCord

Subject: President Putin

In 2022, actress AnnaLynne McCord released a toe-curling video that told of her desire to have been Russian President Vladimir Putin’s mother and prevent war in Ukraine.

The 2:20 long video went viral and generated 26.4million views within days.

The former 90210 star shared her musings about the Russian president on X, and began her verse with an apology to Putin.

‘I’m so sorry I was not your mother,’ she said. ‘If I was your mother, you would have been so loved, held in the arms of joyous light.’

Throughout the video, McCord went on about how Putin’s life would have been different if he’d have been embraced by her love.

Although McCord blames the family matriarch throughout the poem, Putin’s mother, Maria Shelomova, has been characterized by others as a kind factory worker who secretly baptized him during the Communist era.

The details of Putin’s early life are scarce, but Putin described his mother in an interview posted on the Kremlin’s website as an excellent cook who lived a simple life.

‘We lived very simply cabbage soup, cutlets, pancakes,’ Putin said. ‘But on Sundays and holidays my Mom would bake very delicious stuffed buns with cabbage, meat and rise, and curd tarts.’

However, she hinted in the poem that she was speaking metaphorically and was really referring to Russia with her ‘mother’ references.

The actress proclaimed in her poem that she would have done a better job and spared the world from warfare if only she’d been born earlier.

‘If I was your mother, the world would have been warm,’ she said. It all could have been avoided, McCord said.

‘If I was your mother, if the world was cold, I’d have died to make you warm,’ she said. ‘I’d have died to protect you from the unjust; the violence; the terror; the uncertainty. I would have died to give you life.’

She later defended the poem and appeared to show empathy for the Russian leader by suggesting that she could have been a dictator herself.

‘I know how I could easily have moved in the direction of becoming a dictator myself,’ McCord told BuzzFeed News.

‘If certain circumstances of my life were different, were I a little less bent toward healing and more toward vindication, I could have been a darkly powerful person,’ she said.

McCord said she was motivated to share the poem after she woke up ‘in anguish’ over ‘the children of the war’ and the young Ukrainians who are experiencing war for the first time.

She told the outlet how she feels for ‘children who grow into adults and become people who do historically horrifying things’ adding that she personally understands ‘early life trauma.’ 

Poet: Kristen Stewart

Subject: Believed to be about Robert Pattinson

In 2014, Twilight actress Kristen Stewart wrote a cryptic poem for Marie Claire, and described her work as ’embarrassing.’

Kristen is said to have written the poem in 2013, when she was still enjoying an ‘on/off’ relationship with Robert.

While she hasn’t name checked Robert in the poem, it’s hard not to imagine the actress may have been inspired by her relationship with her co-star.

Particularly as in the accompany interview Kristen once again spoke of her affair with married director Rupert Sanders.

When pictures emerged in 2012 of the young starlet canoodling with her Snow White And The Huntsman director, 19 years her senior, it led to the demise of her relationship with Pattinson and the end of Sanders’ marriage to Liberty Ross.

However, a defiant Kristen insisted she would not apologise for any mistakes she has made in the past and in the interview she encouraged her detractors to ‘judge away’.

She told the publication: ‘I stand by every mistake I’ve ever made, so judge away.’

The revelation of Kristen’s fling with the married father-of-two led to a fall from grace and grovelling public apologies for both.

While Kristen and Robert briefly reconciled, they couldn’t overcome the troubles in their relationship and split for good.

Poet: Pamela Anderson

Subject: WikiLeaks fugitive Julian Assange

In 2017, Pamela Anderson boasted about her ‘special relationship’ with exiled WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange and advised the US, UK and France to have a ‘threesome’ in a bizarre poem.

In her bizarre verse, Anderson declared that Assange – who she visited at least nine times in six months – was just ‘trying to help’ and should not be ‘illegally detained’.

The former Playboy model also compared the US to a ‘freakish lover or stalker’ who spied on the UK and inexplicably concluded that she wanted to ‘bring sexy back’.

Pamela shared the poem – entitled ‘I Like How You Resist Me’ – on her blog, the Pamela Anderson Foundation.

She started by offering advice to President Donald Trump and then Prime Minister Theresa May on ‘special relationships’ – based on her ‘own special relationship with Julian Assange’.

Pamela said that the tense political climate caused by the then upcoming UK election and rising security threats in the US made it the right time to ‘discuss politics romantically’.

‘It is a romantic struggle,’ she said. ‘Things that the USA and UK bring to the relationship are Bad secrecy laws. Keeping Julian illegally detained. Hating transparency and Bombing countries.’

The glamour model referred to the US as a ‘dysfunctional lover’ who ‘spied on’ the UK by reading emails and listening to calls.

Pamela also advised creating a ‘bilateral extradition treaty’ so that the UK and US seemed less like a lord and a vassal’ – or a ‘dominant and submissive partner’.

The mother-of-two also voiced her opinions on political tensions in the Middle East. ‘Agree with other countries to stop arming and destabilising the Middle East. War is a racket.

‘Subordinating safety and human rights to the profit motives of arms exporters is not strong, or sexy,’ she penned.

Anderson added that ‘openness and honesty’ were crucial to any relationship. ‘Other relationship issues to work on jointly: Openness and honesty are a must in any relationship. So, need to get rid of approaching everything with secrecy and cover up.

‘Stop abusing espionage and secrecy laws. Can’t stop? Then get rid of them – and replace them with laws that can’t be abused.

‘Stop shouting and punishing people who offer them help (as if a couple would turn against a relationship counsellor?) – Julian is trying to help,’ she wrote.

The model concluded by writing: ‘I can’t help but think romantically. That is where my compass lays. In love and compassion. To apply common sense relationship advice might be the key. We must not forget how to make love… But, war.

‘No more war! And no walls! (around countries or embassies). I will stay relentlessly engaged. Like it or not.’

Poet: Daniel Radcliffe

Subject: Prostitutes, Pop Idol and Pete Doherty

In 2009, it emerged then 19-year-old Daniel Radcliffe was a budding poet whose work had appeared in an underground fashion publication.

His quartet of poems, published under a pen name and written when he was 17, are about infidelity, Pop Idol and Pete Doherty.

The most controversial of the four, Away Days, detailed the narrator’s affairs with prostitutes.

A second poem was in homage to Doherty while another took aim at Simon Cowell and the queues of ‘deluded’ fans who line up to compete in TV talent contests.

The final effort was about a man’s attempts to seduce women. They appeared under the pseudonym Jacob Gershon, a combination of Radcliffe’s middle name and the Jewish version of his mother’s maiden name, Gresham.

They were published in November 2007 in Rubbish magazine – a satirical annual publication with a circulation of 3,000 which describes itself as ‘a playful platform for fashionable people’.

Introducing Radcliffe’s work, it said it was ‘proudly debuting the work of Jacob Gershon, 17, a very exciting and dynamic young poet’.

The actor let slip the existence of his verse in an interview. He said: ‘I didn’t want to publish it under my name. It’s the kind of thing I look back on and just think, ‘Ahhh!’ ‘

It is perhaps not surprising that Radcliffe has an interest in writing. He was awarded an A grade in English literature when studying at the City of London school.

‘As an actor, there is room for a certain amount of creativity, but you’re always ultimately going to be saying somebody else’s words,’ he said in the interview with the Guardian.

‘I don’t think I’d have the stamina, skill or ability to write a novel, but I’d love to write short stories and poetry, because those are my two passions. There is an art to a short story.

‘I love Raymond Carver, and Chekhov – without making myself sound more highbrow than I am! When I don’t write in form and metre, I become unbearably self-indulgent. It’s what Robert Frost said: free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.’

A spokesman for Rubbish magazine said: ‘Poetry is a key aspect to Rubbish, so it was fantastic to be able to provide the platform for ‘Jacob’ and his debut work.’ 

Poet: Charlie Sheen

Subject: Angst and drug abuse

His public meltdown and subsequent firing from the hit show Two And A Half Men was the biggest showbiz scandals of the last decade.

But back in the 1990s, actor Charlie Sheen, then-25, was discussing his angst and drug use in a book of poetry called ‘A Peace of My Mind.’

One of the poems appeared to refer to the constant recognition he would receive, including lines: ”Excuse me, aren’t you…?’ ‘Hey, you look just like…’ ‘Oh my God, that’s…’

The poem ended: ‘All eyes held in stare, all mouths locked open in shock, as he pulled the latex Charlie Sheen mask from his head, revealing the rotted skull of President Lincoln.’

One Amazon reviewer using the name ‘John Stamos’ wrote: ‘Charlie is a personal friend of mine, and I have been reading his poetry for years. 

‘This collection is the best of the best as far as Chas’s art is concerned… Sheen steals part of ourselves and gives us a chunk of humanity and sheenathan.’

Another of his poems, entitled A Peace of My Mind, features the verse: ‘Teacher, teacher, I don’t understand. You tell me it’s like the back of my hand. Should I play guitar and join the band? Or head to the beach and walk in the sand?’ 

Poet: James Franco

Subject: President Obama, Heath Ledger

In 2013, James Franco baffled the internet when he unveiled his poem Obama In Asheville, which he had written to mark the president’s inauguration.

In it, he referenced Obama ‘knowing him from Spiderman’ and also wrote about Katie Holmes and Claire Danes meeting the politician.

And it wasn’t the only poem he has penned over the years.

In 2014, James hinted that there may have been some friendly rivalry between him and the late Heath Ledger.

In a bizarre poem in his debut collection entitled, Directing Herbert White, more than one poem alludes to the Australian actor.

But there is one in particular, called ‘Ledger’ which is clearly an ode to the Perth born Brokeback Mountain star who died in 2008 aged 28.

‘There had been a time. When we were up for the same roles, 10 Things I Hate about You (Based on The Taming of the Shrew), And The Patriot – Funny, you were Australian and so was Mel – You were the knight in A Knight’s Tale…’

The collection of works by the Spider-man star also included one poem in the voice of Lindsay Lohan.