‘I filmed my boyfriend bonking an escort for his birthday – now he needs a re-run’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who doesn’t know how to manage her horny boyfriend’s expectations
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.Worker
He’s hot to trot all over again
I served up a sex worker to my boyfriend for his birthday. Our relationship was young, and I was desperate to please and impress him. I wanted him to think that I was hip and open-minded and flush with cash. No expense was spared on the night in question; I booked a fancy hotel room and got in champagne and vodka and tons of lube and condoms.
The girl I selected was tall and sexy and gorgeous and I encouraged him to knock himself out while I filmed them in action. No holds barred. He absolutely loved it and still says it was the best night of his life.
The problem is that I set the bar too high. The whole experience was too good. His next birthday is in February and he’s already asking me what I’ve got planned. The answer is nothing. I don’t have any money for Christmas, let alone his birthday, and the thought of seeing him with another woman again turns my stomach. A lot has changed in the past nine months (a death in the family, a change of job in August and a fall out with a friend) plus I’ve fallen deeply in love with him.
How do I disappoint him?
JANE SAYS: It’s vital that you come clean with your guy right now. Manage his expectations by telling him exactly what you’ve told me, that there will be no repeat performance of last February’s private party.
Situations can change in a heartbeat and you’re no longer the woman who decided to splash out on a hotel room, posh booze and a sex worker. Today you’re more sober, less solvent and in love.
Explain that you’ll work within your budget on his birthday but last year was a one-off. If that’s unacceptable to him, then he needs to explain to you why. Is he with you for the right reasons? You can’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Ensure you’re getting all the benefits you’re entitled to and check out Step Change (stepchange.org) regarding debt and budgeting tips.
We’ve lost our way
My wife and I last had sex four years ago. We’ve been living like a pair of cold housemates ever since. I don’t even like her; she’s selfish and annoying and brings out the worst in me.
The last of our children left home last June Now we frequently spent days and nights in silence, not because we’ve had a row, simply because there is no conversation. How have I ended up in a sexless marriage with a woman who I don’t like and who loathes me? What’s the point?
JANE SAYS: There are plenty of positives to consider. Don’t forget that you and your wife have companionship, security and shared experiences. From loving your children to splitting your bills, you might even have grandchildren to look forward to.
But if none of that is enough for you; if you crave physical satisfaction, excitement and a fresh start, then you must tell her how you’re feeling. There’s no denying that sex tails off in many long-term relationships and, if living like sister and brother isn’t for you, then something must change.
Would she consider relationship counselling? Talk to her about your options before you tear each other apart.
Nice but boring
My new boyfriend is TOO nice. He’s well dressed, solvent and imaginative in bed but too friendly and kind out of it. He hasn’t got a bad word to say about anybody even when his friends and family are being a pain. He irritates me because there’s no grit in the oyster. How do I toughen him up and rough his edges?
JANE SAYS: I don’t think anything gives you the right to criticise your man or bring him down. Isn’t it good that he’s kind and considerate in this challenging world? Isn’t it wonderful that he has such a big heart.
If it’s more of a bad boy, you fancy – more of an edgy customer – then find one. Set your boyfriend free before resentment and disrespect develops.
