‘I’ve to show a blind eye to my wealthy husband’s dishonest and he’ll commerce me for a youthful mannequin in 10 years…nevertheless it’s value it’: TRACEY COX speaks to a trophy spouse about whether or not cash can actually purchase happiness

Does being rich really make you happy? I am surrounded by women who have married rich men. Am not sure they are any happier than me….

I’ve earned pretty good money over my career and met and mixed with some very, very wealthy people.

Like everyone, I watch them with fascination, always wondering, ‘What must it be like to be them? To be able to have whatever you want, whenever you want it.’

Would I be happier if I was them, not me?

My conclusion is nearly always this: super wealthy people are happier than most in some ways. But on many levels no happier than anyone who doesn’t have money worries.

They still have arguments, get sad, lose their parents, have their hearts broken, experience disappointment and failure and get sick.

Money does wrap you in a cloak that protects you against a lot of things but it’s not magic.

I spoke to two women to explore the concept of wealth and happiness. One woman married a very wealthy man and another made her own money.

I wanted to know the nitty gritty of what each lifestyle is really like. Here’s what they told me.

‘We never check the price of anything. Nothing is out of reach’

Elise*, 38, lives in LA and is married to a man who is worth around £500million. She is one of the ultra-wealthy who hardly ever mix with ‘normal’ people.

Anyone who thinks money doesn’t buy happiness hasn’t grown up in a poor, violent household. 

My parents were awful, but they did give me good genes. I quickly realised my looks were my way out but also that I needed to act the part. I worked several jobs, educated myself, met girls with the right background at university and reinvented a childhood.

Rich men are easy to get if you look, dress and behave a certain way. But you have to play the game – look hot, have a lot of sex, look the other way if they want sex elsewhere, and put up with them being work obsessed. 

I am happy with the trade. I like my husband. We’ve been together 12 years and he’s only 20 years older than me (That’s not bad in this world).

I’m also expected to be nice to his friends and business associates. Flirt with certain men when told to. He decides who I make friends with and who I see when I’m not with him. His life is curated and it’s all about image so I understand why he needs to control me. I want to keep it all going as much as he does.

I like dressing up and partying. My job is to be the hot girl my husband knows he couldn’t pull unless he had money. They like knowing they couldn’t have got you otherwise.

I am so grateful for my lifestyle. I don’t take any of it for granted, even after all this time.

It’s funny. I used to think meeting a millionaire – a man worth a million – would mean I was rich. Now 20 million feels poor. My husband isn’t a billionaire, but a lot of his friends are. I’d say he’s worth at least 500 or 600 million.

I’m quite glad I wasn’t born into a very wealthy family. It’s not a myth that kids of rich parents make a mess of their lives. 

I haven’t met one normal kid yet. They’re usually lazy. They either do nothing other than spend money, party and holiday with other entitled a***holes. Or they get a drug habit, go in and out of rehab and then eventually overdose.

I’ve seen some of the wives get into trouble with drugs as well. They don’t last long once they’re found out. There are always drugs around when you’re at that level of wealth but you’re gone fast if you make a fool of yourself.

I do worry about ageing. I’m 38. Obviously an extremely well-kept 38. I visit a clinic once every three months for treatment and tweaks. But no matter what work I get done, you can’t hide ageing completely. Plus, I worry he’ll get bored of me eventually.

He already had children and didn’t want more which means I won’t be having any if I stay with him. That makes me sad. 

The longest I can expect to stay with him is probably another 10 years. Then I’ll be single, 48 and childless … but also way better off than most (it’s a generous prenup).

There are stresses and it’s not a relaxed life. But it’s exciting and I constantly pinch myself that this is me on that jet or yacht. Meeting that famous person. My destined path was probably to grow up in care and end up with the local drug dealer.

Could I be as happy with a normal amount of money? No. I set out to marry the richest man I could. Even with so much, it still never seems enough. I still have nightmares that I lose everything and panic.

Travel

It’s frictionless. I never have to be anywhere normal people are. Obviously, I don’t catch public transport but no-one in LA does unless you’re poor. 

I never have to go through an airport: my driver drops me straight to the door of our private jet. If I do have to fly commercial, we get a suite with a bedroom and shower. We also have a helicopter which is handier than it sounds. We don’t own a superyacht but we hire them when we need them. Hotels and resorts are all five star, always.

Staff

My stylist comes at the start of the week. She liaises with my PA who tells her all the engagements I have on that week. She’ll plan my outfits and come in person or send photos (depending on how important the event is). Hair and makeup are organised to suit. Any woman who is rich has her own hairdresser and makeup artist who are on a retainer to always be available and able to fly with her on trips. Mine is one of my closest friends.

We have cleaners, a house manager (for each property), interior designers, gardeners, chefs, a driver for each of us, bodyguards (full-time for the kids and my husband and I when we need one), a team of nannies and tutors for his kids.

Health and fitness

We both have private trainers and private doctors. We have full body MRI scans on a regular basis. My husband is into biohacking and longevity. He pays for the top service which includes continuous biomarker tracking, takes around 50 supplements a day, stem cell therapy and hormone optimisation. I’m not interested in any of that but eat well, exercise a lot and do one hell of a lot of beauty treatments.

Entertainment 

I’ve been to most of the world’s top restaurants and never had to pick up a bill. I don’t drink wine but am used to being with people who think £200 for a bottle is slumming it. No-one checks the prices; they just order the best of everything. Nothing is ever out of their reach.

Happiness rating 

I’d rate myself 10/10 lucky and grateful and 6/10 happy because the money isn’t mine. I have a good prenup but if I want to stay at this level, I am under someone else’s control.

‘I couldn’t think of anything worse than some rich guy trying to control me’

Sarah*, 44, made her own money. She thinks her level of rich is ‘just right’ because being well-off is just part of what makes her happy.

My father grew up on a council estate and we were working-class when I was young. But he worked hard and ended up CEO of a big company.

I have great respect for money, but it didn’t occur to me to get it by marrying rich. If it’s his money, it’s not your money. I wanted control over my life, so was determined to make my own. I got a science degree, started out as a medical sales rep and ended up working in Big Pharma. I was a marketing director but am now a general manager and make £400k per year.

Because I didn’t grow up with lots of money, that seems like more than enough for me. I am the top earner of all my friends, and I love my job, even though it’s stressful.

Some people think I’m rich and others would say I’m poor. It’s all relative. I’m learning that the richer you get, the richer your friends get. There’s always going to be someone richer than you but seems to me that my level of ‘rich’ is just about right. I wouldn’t class myself as wealthy. I’d say I’m a high earner with no money worries.

I buy what I want and don’t have to worry about the cost but then I don’t gravitate towards ridiculously expensive things.

I still shop at high street stores (Other Stories) but can afford the odd designer piece. The most I’ve spent on an item of clothing is £1500 but that’s way more than I usually spend; I have a Chanel bag worth £6000 but didn’t pay that. Jewellery isn’t my thing. I live in a big apartment in Chelsea which cost £2.5million (with a mortgage). I don’t have family money or a rich partner and very proud that I got that all by myself.

Most of all, I love being able to treat friends. Since I’ve been on that level of income, I always pay for friends who aren’t on that level. That makes me happy. I also love not having to think restaurant bills. Before, I’d look up the menu before accepting an invitation and think about who else was coming and avoid big drinkers and big spenders.

Travel

I still catch the tube because it’s quick but also get Ubers or black cabs. I’ll travel business class for any flight over four hours. Under four hours, I’m happy in economy. 

I tend to holiday in five-star hotels and resorts but if travelling with others, book wherever they do and fly whatever class they are in.

Staff

I have a personal trainer twice a week and a cleaner once a week – that’s it. I don’t have kids, but I will have a nanny if/when I do.

Health and fitness 

I have private medical insurance and keep up all the recommended health checks.

Entertainment 

I eat out about four or five times a week. I love a new, cool restaurant and good food but not formal, stuffy restaurants. I am a member of Soho House (though considering ditching it). I’m happy paying £60 for a bottle of wine but it must be a special occasion to go over that.

Happiness rating 

10/10 I am very happy with where I’m at in life, but money is only part of the reason why. I didn’t grow up with money so had to work hard for it. That makes me appreciate it more. I love my job and would do it whether it paid well or not. Most of all, I love that I’m not dependent on anyone else for my lifestyle. I can marry for love not money. I couldn’t think of anything worse than some rich man thinking he could control me.

*Names have been changed.