‘Mystery man rocked my world with scorching one-night stand however now I am unable to discover him’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is determined to trace a man who blew her mind in a luxury hotel room

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Ghosted by a hunk

I’m desperate to track down a hot guy I recently enjoyed a night of passion with.

Although we were only together for a short time, I firmly believe that he’s the love of my life. The one that got away. He and I had a one-night stand a few weeks back. We bumped into each other in a luxury hotel bar. I was there expecting to meet an online date for dinner. He was waiting for a potential business investor.

When it became clear that we’d both been stood up, he came over and asked me if I’d like a drink. The spark between us was instantaneous and undeniable. I just looked at him and melted.

He explained that he was staying in the hotel for work and had a room. Minutes later we were up there, ripping each other’s clothes off. For the next blissful hours, we were like wild animals. We simply couldn’t stop attacking each other and barely slept.

He called me ‘darling’. He told me all sorts of private things about his life and said that he wanted me in it, permanently.

At around 8am we made love one, last time then showered together. He said that his contact had finally surfaced and that he was off to an urgent meeting. He gave me a phone number and told me to buzz him later. But something must have happened, because I haven’t seen or heard from him again.

I’ve hung out in the hotel. I’ve even asked the staff to check their guest registers and their CCTV only they won’t help. I’ve scoured all the socials. He simply seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. The thing is, he was so genuine and so sincere. People keep telling me that he must have been playing games with me, but I simply won’t accept that. How do I find my one, true love?

JANE SAYS: I urge you to calm down and face the facts. Sadly, your guy has ghosted you and isn’t coming back.

You need to let this man, and this memory, go.

I’m in no doubt that you had the best time of your life up in that hotel room, but if you simply cannot find him, then you must conclude that he doesn’t wish to be found. He could have gone abroad or be married with children for all you know.

There’s also the possibility that he is a fantasist who makes a habit out of picking up abandoned women in hotel bars. You just don’t know. If anything, maybe you must count yourself lucky that you emerged from your night together with nothing more than a few hurt feelings. I worry that you will continue to drive yourself crazy looking for a man who isn’t available or around.

Then, there’s the very real possibility that if you DO find him, that he’s not as sexy or wonderful as you remember. He could turn out to be a very ordinary person, with issues and problems of his own, who is a bit of a disappointment.

Listen to your friends and draw a line under this episode. Yes, the night was great while it lasted, but it’s over now. Time to move on and embrace your next proper relationship with a lover who doesn’t muck with your mind.

She’s turned me into a monster

I can’t take another minute of my husband’s mother living with us. She constantly asks me why I do things a certain way and then gives me her opinion and advice.

She tells my children off and complains to my husband that I’m disorganised.

The other day she accused me of having a dirty fridge and oven and I nearly walked out. Every time we attempt to do anything nice for her, it backfires. She doesn’t like the garden centres we take her to or the gifts we select. She brings out the worse in me and makes me argumentative and snappy.

I don’t like being this negative person.

JANE SAYS: Your man must understand that this situation is a very serious threat to your marriage and that you’re in this together. Come up with a list of mutually acceptable house-rules. Then, sit your mother-in-law down and politely suggest some all-important compromises. She’ll feel more useful if she has some specific tasks – but you must meet her halfway by explaining how you like things done. She must be allowed a voice to, and she may well upset you with some home truths of her own. On a positive note, isn’t it helpful having another adult around to allow you more freedom? If it’s not, then, you’ll have to work together to arrange an alternative accommodation solution.

Free love at a price

My partner believes in free love and is unfaithful all the time. At first, I thought I could handle his huge libido and indulgent behaviour – his argument being that he was honest with me from the start – but I’m now really struggling to cope. My parents are both elderly and ill and I have a lot on my plate. Just looking at his face after he returns home from, yet another sexual encounter turns my stomach. I hate that he tries it on with my female friends too. How do I tell him that I simply can’t go on like this?

JANE SAYS: At the beginning of your relationship, you thought that you would be able to cope with your man sleeping around; you thought that you were strong enough not to care. But it takes a particular sort of person in a very special kind of relationship to make an open relationship work. Sadly, there don’t seem to be any ground rules in your union, and your man doesn’t appear to have any regard for your feelings. Can that change? Can you and he make this work or is it time for you to start thinking of your long-term mental, physical and sexual health and move on?

Slap and tickle

I’m sick of my boyfriend making love to me like a brute.

He never kisses or cuddles. He demands oral sex at the drop of a hat and only likes sexual positions, where I’m facing away from him and don’t make any noise. Could he secretly be gay? Does he mentally imagine that I’m a man?

JANE SAYS: Who knows what goes on in your boyfriend’s head. Sadly, if you’re not feeling the love, then this relationship needs to end. We’re all individuals and have our own unique preferences. If your guy likes his sex in a certain way; and isn’t prepared to change or compromise for you, then he’s clearly not your forever lover. Don’t waste any more time on someone who isn’t making you feel valued and fantastic.