Ross Kemp talks to lonely blokes in new doc about ‘incels’ who cannot discover love
Former EastEnders actor Ross Kemp has taken on what could be his hardest challenge – talking to weird online men who say they can’t form romantic relationships with women
‘Incel’ means ‘involuntarily celibate’
A decade ago, few people knew what incel meant. Today, the subject of “involuntarily celibate” men sparks fierce debate, has inspired award-winning television and has even been raised in Parliament.
Now a bold new TV series, Lost Boys, Deadly Men, fronted by Ross Kemp, investigates the world of incels and the causes of violent misogyny. Ross says: “In the UK, a woman is killed by a man every three days.
“In every tragic case I’ve looked at, the killers’ states of mind were extremely complex – their actions can’t just be attributed to what they watched on phones or TV. But they all had something in common: Their violence was fuelled by resentment.
“Many young men are being left behind in a world that doesn’t offer them the same status as previous generations, yet they’re still being told that being men makes them privileged.”
The programme examines the case of Jake Davison, who held strong misogynistic views and murdered five people with a shotgun in Plymouth in 2021. The case of Hassan Sentamu, who stabbed Elianne Andam to death in 2023, is also featured in the five-part series.
William Consello, who is studying evolutionary psychology at the University of Texas, conducted the largest ever study of incels and their ideology. The Irish academic says: “This is a group of men who have come to the conclusion they can never form sexual or romantic relationships.
“They feel women have gained too much autonomy and are only interested in the most handsome men. They feel even if they are chosen, they’ll be cheated on or used for money. It’s very misogynistic.”
Incel Ian, who features in the programme wearing an LED mask to disguise his identity, says: “I think that in this world, if you are unattractive, poor, if you’re autistic, you are going to experience this world as if you were a subhuman.
“From birth until now, you are constantly receiving data from other people about who you are, about what you are, what you look like, your value.”
Asked whether he has given up on any chance of romance, he says: “You can’t give up what you never had. It’s always been over.”
Mr Consello likens incels’ misogyny to the Jim Morrison lyric “Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted,” saying this has taken on a darker meaning for some modern men, thanks to changes in society and in dating culture.
He adds: “For the first time men and women can choose singlehood. Women are flourishing and the things they traditionally needed men for as mates – protection and resources – just aren’t as relevant any more.
“We also have the rise in online dating, where physical attractiveness is overindexed. But if that’s your only view of how romantic relationships are formed then you may come to the conclusion that only handsome men get attention.”
For Jason, who also speaks wearing a mask in the programme, the answer lies in “looksmaxxing” – taking drastic action to improve appearance. He is planning to have limb-lengthening surgery, saying: “My height has bothered me for the entire part of my adult life. For a man you have to be tall, good looking.
“Women always have this requirement for taller guys. I’m about 5ft 6in and it sucks. Every woman wants a guy they feel can protect them.”
Another interviewee, James, says incel ideology seemed like the answer to all his questions and doubts when he was an impressionable teenager. He explains: “I had people I could finally relate to.”
But after forming an online friendship outside incel forums, he managed to move on. He says: “Part of the incel problem is not even necessarily just struggling with dating – it’s more loneliness.” But despite some well-known cases and the portrayal of incels in the Netflix drama Adolescence, Mr Consello says incels do not represent a collective threat to society.
He said: “Women are not wrong to feel apprehensive about them – there is an extraordinary misogyny there, and of course there have been high-profile incidents of violence, which is horrible.
“But incels are not organised as a group. They don’t know who each other is, they don’t hold conferences. They are more of a danger to themselves because of their poor mental health.”
●All five episodes of Lost Boys, Deadly Men will be available from tomorrow at 9pm on Crime+Investigation.
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